Wonderpod-Online
<!—:en—>Smackdown 08/31/12<!—:—>

Friday Night Smackdown hopping time! Shall we?

I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- This semi-new call sign at the start still doesn’t sit with me right… then into the Green Day which I am shocked has not changed yet… albeit, one change will likely happen shortly cough… cough… Cameron… cough.

- Sheamus begins the show with a kiss-ass segment to HHH’s fake retirement tease on Monday. LOL. VERY SINCERE. Fortunately unmixed strawberry yogurt is interrupted by Damien Sandow who runs down the champ for being ignorant and that HHH and DX beat him down on the 1000th episode of RAW. Sandow makes a lot of sense calling Sheamus out for being a stereotype of the Irish, but of course Sheamus tells him off with elementary bully level comebacks. Booker T makes this match official even though Sandow declined Sheamus’ offer.

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Best Story Ever?

- * Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes. Cole does good bringing up that it was Mysterio who injured the face of Rhodes years ago, forcing him to wear a protective mask for a spell. Nice attention to detail. This match gets a good amount of time, and as a result is worth a look. Our climax has Mysterio drop kick the feet of a running Rhodes, causing him to fall into position for the 619. But Rhodes catches Rey before he connects, and a reversal rollup allows Rey to pick up the win! Rhodes beats down Rey post match, but Sin Cara makes the save. To top it off, Sin Cara puts one of HIS masks on Rhodes as a form of humiliation.

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I guess Little Jimmy is a Republican?

- Eve Torres joins commentary to comment about commenting, and it commences. She talks about something, I guess. Sounds like FFW to me.

- * Kaitlyn vs. Natalya. Nattie is in full-on-heel mode here, and is demanding respect as she ragdolls Kaitlyn’s upper lip around the ring. Then she stretches’ AJ Lee’s former bestie. It’s not a bad little match, and both women are convincing wrestlers. So that’s good. Short, though, as Kaitlyn ekes out a rollup win and bails away from the angry Calgarian.

- Matt Striker talks to Booker about AJ Lee’s unwarranted attack on Vickie on Monday. Booker thinks AJ has overstepped her role making the career match between Ziggler and Jericho, and then attacking Vickie. Enter Vickie, who is planning on taking action for the assault and has consulted the WWE Board of Directors about this.

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Charles Barkley @G: “Check me out! I’m singing some Boys II Men, G!”

G @Charles Barkley: “Ahh, yes the ode of the Hardy Boyz”

- * World Champion Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow. Sandow is fantastic in the bout, and takes it to the champ (who of course can’t sell for him, as per usual). And that, my friends, is why this is a good thing. He’s being elevated into the title picture! He beats down the Irishman, telling him audibly in a loud voice to “Just quit.” The two trade attacks, until Sandow is taught how to count by Sheamus for a near fall. Sandow rolls out of the ring multiple times, but it plays to his favor, allowing him to dodge a near-Brogue Kick. Sandow tosses Sheamus into the side of the ring and runs the fuck out of Dodge! TEN COUNT WIN FOR SHEAMUS. Not a definitive win, and Sandow still looks strong. He took it to the champ, he didn’t want this match in the first place, and he uses his intelligence to beat up Sheamus and still get out while the getting out was good.

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Fuck you up, he will.

- * The Prime Time Players vs. Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd. The first time we’ve really seen the Gabriel/Kidd tandem on significant WWE programming. I like the potential of this team a lot. The Usos pop up in a picture-in-picture Tout and say “Uso” a lot. Great. This match is a little short for my liking, but does showcase all four men involved. The high fliers gets some great moves in, but it’s their risk taking that ultimately causes them the loss and allows Darren Young to make the pin for the win for his team. Again, worth a watch.

- Del Rio raves on the microphone pre-match about tapping out the most boring man in the world, Randall Keith Orton. Josh Mathews questions how ADR has a chance at Sheamus, even though he has lost to him everytime. ADR notes how Kane tossed away Mathews like a piece of trash, and threatens to do that right now. Hit Kane’s fireworks.

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Obama certainly was on reddit. For realz! Kayfabe!

"Hello, my name is Kane. As part of my anger management therapy, my therapist has told me to come out here and apologize to you, Josh Mathews. Sorry for throwing you over the barricade at SummerSlam…" says Kane. Then Teddy Long comes out and makes this match official.

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El Generico is just plain awesome.

- * Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio. ADR is facing the Sharing and Caring champion of the IWC (this week). Kane certainly shares a plethora of ramshackle offense to start this thing off. Kane pretty much dominates, until he attacks Ricardo Rodriguez for some reason… allowing ADR to attack from behind with a Codebreaker and capture a pin and the win. KANE IS PISSED. So naturally he goes after Josh Mathews, tosses him around, apologizing all the while. Chokeslam! And begrudgingly he calls for his post match pyro.

- Mikey! Cole! returns to tell us Josh Mathews is dead again, and his corpse was airlifted out of the arena and shot into the sun. Well, he was helped to the back by WWE officials, but I kind of like my version better.

TWITTAH TIME WITH KEVIN NASH!

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Nerd wins!

- * Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler. This should be better, because at the end of the day, Orton is a pretty safe worker and Ziggler is a bumping machine, but damn it’s feels slow. I check my DVR, nope only 6 minutes of 10 left… no overrun on Smackdown. Orton is really taking his time… fuck…. me… Even Vickie seems more agitated than normal. The crowd is all over this shit, and sadly it’s because of the Viper. I completely lose my train of thought, have to rewind and sadly sit through the rest. Ziggler misses with a Zig Zag, and falls into an RKO. Orton wins.

- Whatever, this was overall a solid show. Just keep in mind I didn’t even bother mentioning that they reaired all three of Daniel Bryan/Kane Anger Management segments and HHH’s fake retirement spot. You should skip those.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

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Bored Wrestling Fan


A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

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Wonderpod Online


The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 08/24/12<!—:—>

So, apparently I’m supposed to write some kind of intro paragraph for these things. A paragraph usually is constituted with a few sentences that correlate to an idea and supports the content within. Furthermore, including this sentence, I count three strings of words. Done. Let’s hop to it, shall we?

I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- We’re told an enraged Alberto Del Rio wants answers for getting screwed over by the heelish bully and car thief, Sheamus at Summerslam. Then we see clips from the 24 hour RAW on Monday in which Sheamus continued his dastardly ways by screwing ADR in his match against Randall Keith Orton.

- Orton decides he will put us all to sleep with a promo in the ring to kick off the show. God, these are always death. Meanwhile, BWF Radio regular is in a viper-induced coma. Orton tells anyone in the back to confront him if they think he’s a dick. Sheamus comes out and more or less get’s on Orton’s member telling him he wants to face Orton for his corrupt title. HOLLA HOLLA! FLOW CHART! Oh wait, it’s Booker-T. My bad. T likes the smell of this program, which has the distinct aroma of FFW soup. But first….

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This guy probably has one hell of a drop kick.

- Enter ADR who rightfully calls bullshit on this fucking injustice (his words, not mine). He points out all of what I’ve argued. Sheamus is a cheating criminal, and if this B A Star thing is to be considered legit, Alberto Del Rio is a true hero. It’s a conspiracy against a fine young upstanding ADR.

- * Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal. Battlecreek Michigan versus Calgary… Alberta, Canada?

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FEED…. ME… MORE!!!

- Ryback notes, “Jinder Mahal, tonight you finally understand your place in the food chain! FEED ME MORE!” I guess that was a passable promo for the red-eye-knight. Clips and shit are shown. Jinder is going toe-to-toe with the Ryback, even stomping him down and making him his bitch while the crowd chants “This is gay! This is gay!” Oh wait, they’re chanting “U-S-A! U-S-A!” My bad, I thought they were homophobes, turns out they’re just racist nationalists that forget they’re an immigrant based country. LOL. Melting pot, my ass. After a nice display of offense, Ry-Van-Dam hits his little march slam move on Jinder for the win. I hope I riled a couple of you Yankees up tonight. I’m Canadian, and I’m fucking down being polite! Ha ha, eh!

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I seem to be on a bit of an angry animal kick tonight… got stuck at work much later than I would have liked. Plus Summerslam, RAW, and Impact sucked my balls for the most part.

- * Non-Title Match: Layla {C} vs. Alicia Fox. Stupid non-title matches. Whatever. FFW, don’t care. The ladies kind of roll around and pretend to wrestle. This really sucks. Layla wins in about 90 seconds. Moving on… as Eve makes her way down to raise the hands of Kaitlyn and Layla (Kaitlyn was on commentary, I suppose). Weird shit here folks.

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Jack be creepy, Jack be sick…

- Dolph Ziggler discusses beating Chris Jericho with Vickie backstage. They complain about A.J. not being the father of Claire Lynch’s baby or some crap. Enter on-the-lam criminal Sheamus who thinks Ziggler should cash in the MitB tonight. Ziggler tells him to fuck off. Corrupt assistant to Booker T tells them that they will face each other tonight in a non-title match.


It’s just a matter of time…

- * Heath Slater vs Sin Cara. Cody Rhodes is on commentary. The lights are dimmed, and whatnot. Rhodes notes that 8 times out of 10 he agrees with Cole on commentary, I note that Rhodes never learned how to reduce his fractions. BOO! MATH MUST PREVAIL! Actually, I could give a fuck. I saw this match THREE TIMES in Calgary last summer on one show. It’s a good mix of the flippy floppy and the… umm… what’s Slater’s move set called again? Being squashed all that time makes me unsure. But Slater ekes out a victory in a pretty short match. Rhodes flies into the ring to demask the fallen lucha. But, the referees prevent this from happening as “Cody Sucks!” chants ring out from the crowd.

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How I wish the Claire Lynch story would end on Impact. That or a Popeye run in on AJ, either or.

- * Non-Title Match: Sheamus {C} vs. Dolph Ziggler. Vickie joins commentary. She talks about Teddy bears or something, I tune out from commentary as per usual. Both men are sold as strong to start, and I can’t say it’s turrible. Barks can though, and likely will during a seemingly logical pending commercial break. Dolph learns to count in honor of the late, great Jerry Nelson. But it turns out I am wrong as Ziggler uses the briefcase to beat down the so-called champ and then wants to cash it in! Then as Sheamus arises from seeming death, Ziggler reclaims his contract before it’s made official! THERE WILL BE NO TITLE MATCH TODAY! Ziggles shouts “NO RUSH!” as he makes his way to the back. 1, 2, 3, 4… 4 premature contract cash ins! AH AH AH!! RIP Mr. Nelson.

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:( He was a vampire that appealed to kids. AND… AND… he did not fucking sparkle.

- Santino is in the ring talking about loving America and that type of stuff. Also a Canadian depicted as someone from another country. LOL. Santino wants his rematch, and is mildly entertaining and talks to his sock puppet and things get stupid funny. You will either love or hate this. Me? I like trainwrecks, and the fact that he is telling his hand about the birds and the bees is so retarded it’s awesome. Aksana distracted the sock puppet, and Santino asks his hand if it can milk him. PG TV, folks! Then he quotes Rocky, and he gets his Cobra all fired up! El oh el! Enter the current US champ and his eye-candy valet… Our five words tonight are “winner.” Then they make out. Cesaro taunts the Milan Miracle and they fight on the ramp. But once again, the Cobra is distracted by Aksana, and Cesaro lays him out.

[caption id=”” align=”aligncenter” width=”576”]Charles Barkley @G: “Did you see me in the audience at Summerslam, G? I got seats with some rats!”[/caption]
G @Charles Barkley: “They confiscated your A.W. sign, didn’t they?”

- * WWE Tag Team Title Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth {C} vs. Epico & Primo. The Prime Time Players join commentary. Fuck, lot’s of joining commentary tonight. Albeit, Titus Oneil does do a funny impression of Booker T, even though it distracts from a pretty good match. The Colons are looking better each time I see them. This match is pretty solid for the 2 minutes they give them. R-Truth snags a win for his tandem while the PTP’s do their best to glare at the champs.

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Do I REALLY need a caption for this one?

- The Day movie trailer. I check it out since I FFW’d through it on Monday. Striker talks to the tag champs backstage… pretty generic about taking on all comers, etc. The P2P’s enter and Titus tells Little Jimmy he needs to be seen and not heard! HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA! Classic. Then the rarely seen Usos enter staking a claim, as well as the Colons. Brawl segment ensues. At least it FEELS like there is a tag team division, so there’s that.

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I’ve got to wonder how devastating the WMD would be if taken by Ziggler.

- Booker talks to Teddy about who deserves a title match for the tag titles… and Teddy blanks. Yes, the guy who flow charts tag matches for ten years blanks. Fuck off. Eve enters and did all the research, hands it to Booker and then turns to snub an angry looking Teddy.

- Clip packages for like 13549791035907501 hours.

- * #1 Contender’s Match: Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio. The match is getting lots of time and things start out slow. Why? Randall? Randall? Clean up in aisle 9, Randall, clean up in aisle 9. Price check on boredom…. why must you ruin ADR matches? Then we return to typical rest holds… They keep wrestling… and I’m distracted checking other things, so I type little here. Why? Because I write this as I watch and drink. Sheamus is shitty on the announce table (yes, that theme continues). Orton always seems to make me check out mentally. Fortunately, Orton has some straight-to-DVD movie to film and Del Rio slaps on move #248
“ARM BAR” and submits the bag-shitter. Post match, criminal mastermind, Sheamus attacks ADR because he’s a good guy. FUCK THIS SHIT. HE’S A FUCKING HEEL! STOP THIS SHIT, WWE! Del Rio sneaks his way out of the ring, because that’s what faces do. Ziggler teases the cash in again, only to immediately eat an RKO? WHY? Why the fuck would Orton defend Sheamus here? DUMB!! Fuck it, I made it through wrestling this week.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan


A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online


The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 08/17/12: A Better Go Home Show Than RAW<!—:—>

It’s Summerslam weekend (well, close enough). We’ll be running down the Summerslam card on BWF Radio this Sunday with some special guests. I’m announcing no one yet, because it’s going to be huge… and awesome. Tune in to boredwrestlingfan.com or wonderpodonline.com on Sunday to check it out with plenty of time before the PPV.

Pretty much the whole card has been announced. There’s even some last minute matches likely to be teased tonight and then cut for time on Sunday. I expect a holding pattern, and a whole bunch of clip packages. Maybe I’ll get through this in record time? Only one way to find out, let’s hop to it, shall we?


I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- Yep. We kick off our show with clips. It’s a rundown of the Sheamus/ADR feud and the so-called “cancelled” match at Summerslam this Sunday. Naturally, this segues into Alberto Del Rio coming out with Ricardo Rodriguez. And boy is he pissed. Booker T comes down to address the issue. ADR spoke with his lawyers… BREAK THE WALLS DOWN! Y2J tells him to SHUT THE HELL UP. Del Rio will have none of this, but Jericho speaks Spanish too. I don’t speak it, so I have little clue what he says. “His breath smells like dog poop,” Y2J Google translates for us. All in all it’s a fun segment which results in the Book-man making it a match.

The pride of Sunnyvale, The Trailer Park Boys in 8-bit. Hit the image for a link to Al Creed. You’re welcome.

- * Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes/The Miz. These two respective teams are to face each other at Summerslam. The Sin Cara/Cody Rhodes one is still a bit up in the air though. Rhodes enters last with a microphone telling us he was trying to unmask Sin Cara to reveal his ugly face for what it is, warning the audience as he reveals an artist’s rendition of what the lucha’s face actually looks like. As the match starts, Cara attacks Rhodes and the two masked men take the advantage. You know what? I really dig these guys in as team mates, both teams. They seem to click. This match delivers! We get a high octane energetic effort, with a balance of technical and acrobatic moves. The finish comes with a neat spot where Sin Cara is outside the ring and Rhodes is leaning through the ropes trying to demask him, but Rhodes gets taken out with a 619! The luchas win! Post match, sneaky Miz attempts to attack Mysterio with the IC title, only to have it turn on him and he too eats a 619 breakfast. Totally worth the watch.


I’d do the same thing to anyone wearing a Jason mask at a campsite. You just can’t be too careful.

- * Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins vs …??? Reks and Hawkins are in suits, which they take the jackets off… then their shirts, with ties… it’s a strip tease gimmick. By the end of it, they are in ring gear…. and are facing ??? Some random jobbers who get no name graphics. The Strippers work in little dance moves as they dismantle two guys that look like food for Ryback. “Interesting gyrations…” says Cole. Is this PG? Probably not. Do the two give it their all in an attempt to get the gimmick over? Yes. Guess who wins.


I can’t believe they spelled “laser” wrong.

- Backstage, Eve runs into William Regal who wishes her luck. Regal reminisces when he was GM of RAW and he fed off the power, and the dangers of power. Then some random worker asks what she is paying Regal for, and to take out the trash. LOL. That was funny. More Wade Barrett clip packages. I like’em. How about you?

- * Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres (the winner becomes Booker T’s assistant). Teddy Long joins commentary as an observer for Booker. Cole notably mentions Eve’s appearance in “Stars vs Stripes” which goes head-to-head with part of the 6571835641432 hours of RAW on Monday nights. I wouldn’t tell the audience that, even in the DVR age. It’s not a very long match, but it isn’t horrible. These two do a good job. But, Eve picks up the win with what I presume is her finisher, fucked if I know. She grins maliciously and goes over to grin in an unimpressed Teddy Long’s face.


Charles Barkley @G: “I hear you were in a zombie parody or something, honkey.”

G @Charles Barkley: “Who me? Nah….”

[youtube I9flUHuruH0]
But which one am I?

- Booker meets with his new assistant, and wants to know about how her history with Teddy Long is going to be an issue. Eve claims it will be ok, and leaves. Booker’s face drops and looks like he wants to kill a man…. or woman, for that matter.

- * Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton. Wow, they sure are giving these unique matchups, huh? First Cena, now Orton? Bryan continues to play off the crowd chanting “Yes” with his “No!” Boreton makes his slow methodical way out to the ring. Geez. On one side, you have a guy I WANT to watch in Bryan, and on the other a walking sedative. In a funny moment Bryan finds himself outside the ring as some crazy fan (plant?) is repeatedly shouting YES! at him. Funny shit. Bryan works Randall Keith Orton’s knee like a good heel should (no the “punt” is still banned). Bryan doesn’t care and stretches him real good. Orton’s worked punches still suck, BTW. Commercials…


Happy Birthday Little Jimmy! Source

- We return to Bryan focusing almost all his energy on carrying Orton and working the knee. It’s very good psychology, even though wrestling dies anytime littler men hold titles (right Big Lazy?). To give the Viper credit, he continues to sell the injuries through out, to the point of his counter attacks hurting him too as he limps around the ring. The crowd is very into this match, excellent atmosphere! Orton finally gets set up to pull out an RKO, which Bryan reverses into a No-Lock utilizing leverage on the injured knee. BAM!!!! Kane’s pyro hits, distracting the American Dragon! This allows Orton to pick up the win with an RKO. You know what? This was another great match on a show I thought would suck. But I don’t go back and edit what I already wrote. That’s my deal, I was wrong…. even if the rest of the show sucks from here on in, but I doubt that with Jericho and Del Rio left to go.


Catch them all, brother!

- * Antonio Cesaro vs. Zack Ryder. Santino joins commentary to watch the guy who will hopefully take the strap from him in the pre-show Youtube match this Sunday… and hopefully rename it the European Championship. More Cesaro five language shit… this week’s secret word is “Loser” as the crowd chants USA. Funny, Santino is actually Canadian and Cesaro is Swiss. Go figure, I guess that means Zack Ryder is Hacksaw Jim Duggan now. Ryder gets some attacks in, but let’s face it folks, WOO WOO WOO, it’s over. Cesaro makes short work of the Orange One. Sorry Joe!


I kind of want him to show up at Summerslam like this…

- Here’s the clip packages. Tells the story of Bork Laser and all the contract shit between him and HHH leading up to this Sunday. Broken arms, and all that stuff. Good times in FFW land for this here G.


DDP about to kick out a mad freestyle.

- * Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio.  ? Or is it? Backstage a laid out and beaten down Chris Jericho is being yelled at by Dolph Ziggler who tells him he can’t win the big one… Booker arrives on the scene and tells him to get the fuck out of Dodge. Aces and Eights? LOL. Popeye? Too many inside references? NEVER!


I don’t know either, but still more entertaining than a Kelly Kelly Kelly match.

- We’re back with a replay of what we just saw in case we forgot. Del Rio dons a shit-eating grin in the ring, and asks about some more “Spanish” from Jericho. He gets Ricardo to tell the audience the winner is Alberto, and demands Booker T come out and award him with his Summerslam match. Nope, the Walls are broken down. Jericho shambles down to face the Mexican aristocrat.

- * Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio (take two). Y2J backs down for nobody, but Del Rio takes advantage of his injured sternum/chest-area. Wow, this is some good story telling! With the injury, Jericho continues to desperately fight back as the heeltastic Del Rio dominates the man from Winnipeg. We hit some commercials to enter our final segment of the show…


Horsepower.

- Jericho will just not stop. He’s a face now, so what can you expect. He pulls out moves that hurt him like the lionsault, and the like, and even the Walls of Jericho hurt the man. Yes, I realize that Bryan/Orton played a similar card tonight, but no fucks are given by this wrestling fan. Dolph Ziggler sneak attacks Jericho c/o referee distraction and this allows the dastardly Del Rio to pick up the win! Ricardo almost loses his voice announcing the victory. Post match, Del Rio locks on an armbar (backstage Dean Malenko is smiling)… but Sheamus runs out and attacks Del Rio! Del Rio turns the tides and works Sheamus’ injured arm as the two brawl on the outside and into the arena. Del Rio walks away and the angry Irishman checks on his fallen new bestie, Chris Jericho. Booker T comes out and asks what’s up. Sheamus wants his match at Summerslam reinstated. Sheamus doesn’t care that he is injured and if it is for the World Heavyweight Championship. So Booker complies.

- Good show all around, three thumbs up! I attached another arm to my torso on Wednesday. Good times.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 08/10/12<!—:—><!—:de—>Smackdown 08/10/12<!—:—><!—:zh—>Smackdown 08/10/12<!—:—>

Oh, the hell with it. Joe better be careful on BWF Radio reading what I write tonight. Let’s see how many of these I give this week:


Just hit the damn jump, Boba Haters.



I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- Note the computer I am writing this on is being backed up onto my other computer, and is acting sluggish. This will affect my review….indeed!

[caption id=”attachment_12705” align=”aligncenter” width=”300”] Always a mystery…[/caption]

- Our one time GM, Booker T, heads to the ring. He gives the crowd a one-time Spin-a-rooni, and reminds us he is in his hometown of Houston. “Houston, we have a problem…” he notes. Curious? Curiousity? See what I did there? Clips of Sheamus’ larceny on RAW air, and The Book-Man requests The Great White comes to the ring to apologize for being a criminal. Sheamus notes that Del Rio tried to take his dignity last Friday, so he opted to steal Alberto’s car. Sheamus apologizes to Booker, the entire WWE Universe, and insincerely to Del Rio. As a member of the universe in question, I do not accept his apology. I DEMAND PROSECUTION IN THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW!!! Del Rio seems to agree, and enters calling Sheamus, and rightfully so, a criminal. Booker points out that if Sheamus can’t defend the title in jail (fuck that, strip the guy), so basically this all culminates in making a World Title defense tonight.


I wonder what Curiosity would have done to Max Moon?

- * Cody Rhodes vs. Sin Cara - Ok, now my computers are being total fuckers… Rhodes mentions he is also is familiar with wearing a mask, but the difference is that Sin Cara is ugly. Umm…. zing? Terrible. It’s a quick, decent match. Rhodes spends too much time trying to demask Sin Cara, and as a result gets a fruit roll-up and your champion of the match is Sin Cara. Just prior, Rhodes looks up and mouths “What’s with the lights?”


I bet you’re laughing. I was too, until I realized that this kid just might be REALLY good at defense and willing to take two for the team.

- Cut to Daniel Bryan walking backstage yelling “No!” at random grips, P.A.’s, wrestlers, etc. Bryan hunkers down in the ring as the crowd cries “YES!” at him… I swear, I thought he was going into the punk position. “Do you people think I am nothing more than a catchphrase?” he demands, to which the crowd of course responds… well… you know what they say. Then Bryan goes off, and I don’t rewrite promos. Let’s just say it’s awesome, and he rants about being a champion, AJ, and his match at Summerslam with Kane. He feels he deserves more than that, and the crowd can fuck off. Kane comes out, and then AJ comes out? WTF? Wrong show dipshit. Booker asked her here, we’re told and she does her head twitch crap and over-emoting garbage. AJ tells Kane that she appreciated how Kane was honest with her when she was in slut-mode a while back. Then she demands that Bryan shakes Kane’s hand while looking like she is having an orgasm. Then Kane attacks Bryan, so the latter flees. It was an entertaining bit, all thanks to Bryan and no one else. Looks like AJ wants to fuck Kane again.


6-C is “Run like a cowardly heel.” Awesome.

- Hawkins and Rekks approach Booker T and want a shot, but T wants “A+” talent not jobbers to Pinky and the Back (hint both of latter two are actually one guy).


This is so spot on, I had to include it somewhere on this site.

- * Jinder Mahal vs. Two Random Job Guys Mahal has his fucking hat box back, because all of us Calgarians put our turbans in glass boxes. That’s what we do. Then Mahal gets a screen bit about telling Eye-fart-back about beating two jobbers quicker than the guy who can’t find toilet paper. Mahal fucks them up quick, and puts both in a double camel clutch spot. Then Ry-Van-Back enters and runs off the Calgarian. Rycrack then does his double finisher spot. I’m not impressed. Mahal already softened them up. Smores were had by all in the crowd, right Joe?


Survivor Naut G will return to the Wonderpod show soon enough, meanwhile, Diddy found outside work as a sociopath.

- There better be fucking hockey next season, or I riot.


What he said. I murdered some guy at a Burger King once… not going through that again….

- * Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel Returns w/ Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero. You already know this is awesome, so just go watch it. It’s the first time in over two years since this has been on WWE television. Vickie comes out and tells Jericho he cannot interview her client, and they have a funny back and forth. This is the reason to watch tonight’s show. So if you are on the fence, just go watch this segment. He had time to re-evaluate and maybe it’s time to… well, “Y2J is back, BABY!” Awesome. Ziggler tries to run in, Jericho fucks up his shit… Vickie slaps Jericho and Ziggy Ziggles blindsides Y2J! Then he clocks him with the briefcase! I watch this twice. Watch it once, or turn in your Wrestling Fan Card in at the desk on the way out. The following will be up until the Orwellian police take it down:

[youtube pZO00tOtjew]
Hit the 8 minute mark, smark.

- * #1 Contender’s Match: The Primetime Players vs. Epico and Primo. Probably worth noting that this is the last time you’ll see AW with the PP’s since his Kobe comment Muhammad Hassan’d him right out into the pastures of future endeavors. I thought that would happen last week, BUT NO! AW reverses the decision into three more television appearances only to be laid out by the Corporation during a house show run in on Friday! Looks like the Colons might get a bit more time as a result. Shitty deal for Young and Oneil… oh well. The match is rendered moot as Kofi Bryant and R-Truth interfere (they were on commentary), and they beat down AW. Coincidence? No.

[caption id=”” align=”aligncenter” width=”500”]Charles Barkley @G: “While you were camping last week, you missed the turrible performance by the nightmare team.  They’re only beating other teams by 20 points or so.  Turrible.”[/caption]
G @Charles Barkley: “I’ve caught a few games, but honestly your NBC coverage is even more turrible.  At least your team was unstoppable like Kobe Kingston in a hotel.”

- LOL, switching Kofi and Kobe’s last names is still real to me. Moving on… fucking computers are still being fucktards.

- * Christian vs. Antonio Cesaro w/ Aksana. Ok, this should be good. Let me entertainment you. Cesaro wants to speak to us in 5 different languages. Hey, he learned five words, and all of them are “Victory” this week. I smell a gimmick. Much better this week. They deliver, and we get a showcase of technically sound wrestling. Christian gets the win though, which is a bit of a shame. The two trade spots leading to a SPEAR! BAH GAWD! I don’t think the Captain needed the win here, but it is what it is.


No caption needed.

- Arda Ocal tells us Canadian viewers on The Score that Lance Storm Academy has produced yet another talent. Nice! But there is also somewhere else wrestlers, referees, and other talent can learn the business in Calgary…. Alberta, Canada. It’s Original Stampede Wrestling. It’s run by Bruce Hart and Doc Knight, and we at boredwrestlingfan.com had the pleasure to interview them about this restart of the innovative Stampede Wrestling this week. That interview is here.

- Eve talks shit about being invaluable to Johnny Ace, but Booker could give two fucks. Then Kaitlyn is brought in by Teddy Long to be an assistant and is hired immediately much to Eve’s chagrin. Booker makes it a match between the two, and the winner gets the job. That’s how I got my job at Burger King in highschool. I killed another man… but that’s a story for another day.

[caption id=”” align=”aligncenter” width=”225”]Seems legit.[/caption]

- * Non-Title Match: The Miz {C} vs. Rey Mysterio. Whoop-dee-doo. Non-title match. Fuck this shit. Mysterio is still wearing his rubber shirt with a question mark on it. Why? Because he’s fat now. And wrestlers can’t be fat. Just ask Dusty Rhodes, Andre “the Giant”, Tugboat, Mass Transit, Yokozuna, Uncle Elmer, or Fatty McGee. They all agree. Whatever, this was a decent match at best. Rey and Miz trade a bunch of spots up and down the ring. Near falls, etc. I’m just apathetic because of the non-title clause. FUCKING HATE THAT STIP. One neat spot has Miz reverse the 619, but Mysterio still counters his finisher with another Fruit-Rollup, and picks up the win. At least put this as a title match on the PPV. Could’ve been better.


I think it’s obvious that Zangief takes round 1.

- * World Title Match: Sheamus {C} vs. Alberto Del Rio. They’ve got five minutes. That doesn’t bode well. Police officers come down to arrest Sheamus? Huh. Del Rio tells them to back off, as he wants his title back. Sheamus fights the police, because that’s what upstanding B-A-Star face champions do. The rest of the NWA run in, I guess. The cops beat down the Irishman and Del Rio tries to ply them off of the Great White. But no, he’s going where he belongs. At least the cops let our Mexican Millionaire get some cheap shots in. The cops hold Sheamus in place so Del Rio can dropkick him… then clear the ring so the man can put him in an armbar. And that’s pretty much it, folks!

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan


A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online


The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 07/27/12<!—:—><!—:de—>Smackdown 07/27/12<!—:—><!—:zh—>Smackdown 07/27/12<!—:—>

Well, here we are… hot off the heels of the 1000th episode of RAW. How am I supposed to be excited for Smackdown? The reality is that I can’t get excited. I mean consider all the awesomeness we saw!


Just one of many things you and I forgot happened on the 1000th episode of RAW.

I think I’m going to need a hand “getting to it, shall we?” this week…


Come on. Who didn’t see THAT coming? Hands up!

I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- It appears that the new signature we saw on RAW is sticking around… at least for this week. Probably for good, but how would I know?

- Then a whole boatload of clips from Monday are aired…

- The Miz is out to remind us he beat Christian for the IC title on Monday. Triple Crown! He is swiftly cut off by Christian who has opted to revoke his rematch clause right now!


What he said.

- * IC Title Match: The Miz {C} vs. Christian. Our first segment is more of the Peep Show, than anything. Christian makes Miz look great, bumping all around the ring like Silly Putty that escaped the egg. Mind you Miz, takes some of the brunt himself. Notable that Cole states that the Miz was off making a movie and is now a huge movie star. I’m a little confused, doesn’t the movie need to ACTUALLY COME OUT before you can say that? I’m sure the Marine 98 will stand out in the direct-to-DVD bin! Nonetheless, Christian sets up for a crossbody splash, lands it for a two count… goes up again, and lands another near fall with a second rope reverse DDT, and another bunch more nearfalls ensue. Captain Charisma goes for an Unprettier, reversed! A spear is charged up by the Canadian, but Miz wisely moves out of the way. Some nefarious referee distraction allows Miz to retain with a rollup grabbing the tights. FANTASTIC START TO THE SHOW!


Hiyah Dwayne! How you doing?

- * Jinder Mahal vs. Ryback. Mahal actually gets a bunch of offense in, and even slaps on a Camel Clutch! Of course Ryback stands up mid submission and crushes him. Mahal looks to eat a clothesline, and ducks the attack to the outside! Mahal says screw this and takes a count-out loss rather than re-enter the ring. Our very first non-finish for Ry-Van-Back! The Goldberg wanna-be is left hungry, angry, and… umm… air-brushy?


The Rock shouldn’t have traded his lungs for a set of gills. Just saying.

- Logically, after I posted that animated gif we rewatch that segment on Smackdown. Sheamus enters to console Danny Boy about his bad time on Monday. He gives him what would have been the wedding present, a picture of the infamous 18 second loss at WrestleMania last April.

Logo
Charles Barkley @G: “RAW 1000 was pretty cool. But for the next couple of weeks I’ll be watching that LeBron choke. Did I ever tell you about how I won an Olympic Gold Medal in 1992 with a FREAKIN’ BROKEN NECK?”

G @Charles Barkley: “Sounds familiar…”

Speaking of which, if you somehow missed this… watch it now:
[youtube 3ii2gt0yJcE]

- * Non-Title Match: Sheamus {C} vs. Cody Rhodes. I’m not getting started on non-title matches… we have one more to come too. ARGGHHH!!! Cody is mostly on the receiving end of the punishment here, as Sheamus plays the Goliath role to Cody’s David. You know this story. Or at least to start, because when Sheamus teaches children to count at home, Rhodes reverses out, tosses Sheamus into the steel ring post and almost gets counted out. Now with an isolated injury, Rhodes gets to work. As the commercial break nears, Vickie and Dolph enter, with Ziggler holding his briefcase…


Punk realizes the consequences of his actions. I swoon like a little G.

- Rhodes and Sheamus battle on, without concern of Ziggler… or so it would appear. Rhodes seems to be on the page with Dolph somewhat… and continues to isolate the injured shoulder of the Correction Fluid, Wite-Out. Sheamus becomes more concerned with staring angrily at Dolph, allowing Rhodes to stay in the match. Rhodes hits his sick second rope jumping kick to the head of Fella, but a second leap onto the champ leads to White-noise! Rhodes gingerly gets up and into a Brogue Kick. Thankfully, Dolph does not attempt to cash in, but does tease it post match in a moment of machismo. After he begins to back away, Jericho (wearing a Ziggler shirt), tosses Dolph into the ring and a subsequent Brogue Kick!

- Jericho enters the ring telling a story with his facial expressions of “isn’t that too bad,” and “oh well…” and finally, “LOL.” Then he hits a code breaker, takes off Dolph’s shirt and mocks the fallen Dolph. Great end to a decent bout.


I’m a much bigger fan of THIS Fozzy, sorry JT!

- * Non-Title Match: Santino Marella {C} vs. Antonio Cesaro w/Aksana. See!?!? Another one. At least Cesaro is back on TV! Antonio dominates early, until Aksana tries to distract the referee… Santino capitalizes on it, but Cesaro cares little for Cobra-boy and fucks up his shit for a quick win. Thank god. Also, get the title off of Marella. NOW. I like Marella, but really and sincerely WANT to take the titles seriously again.

- Clips of Sandow getting beat up by DX. Then he walks backstage looking disgusted by his surroundings (e.g. Percy Watson and Derrick Bateman).


Damien Sandow stole Barkley’s staring-directly-into-your-soul gimmick.

- * Yoshi Tatsu vs. Damien Sandow. Sort of. Sandow detroys Tatsu and does his elbow smirk pin. Then he runs down the crowd for enjoying DX’s manhandling of him on Monday. And now he calls himself officially our martyr. YOU’RE WELCOME. I was on the bandwagon for this guy since the first vignette. And I saved you plenty of room on the bandwagon. Get on board, smark.


Good job, Phil.

- More clips and shit. This time Bork Laser and Puppet H chill with Paul E. Dangerously and The Billion Dollar Princess. And it’s cool for the McMahon’s to talk shit about Paul’s kids, but not for him to talk about their children. B A Star! Learn to fucking spell. Paul is the face now, as far as I’m concerned. Fuck HHH and Stephabully.


Slater is also a tree.

- Some Tout crap. FFW. Kane makes his way to the ring. Too bad we didn’t get a Katie Vick reference on the 1000th RAW. Frowny Face.


Hey, I didn’t write this segment.

- * #1 Contender’s Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan. Kane must have stood in the ring chuckling for like 5 minutes there (wow, exciting for the live crowd, huh?). Everyone else makes their way out as we all FFW. And we think about brains… the one’s HHH fucked out of the corpse of Katie Vick while wearing a Kane mask. Cute fact, there was a REAL funeral going on in the next room when they taped this:


I don’t know what I’d rather wipe off the camera lens. This or… well some other kind of liquid projectile coming from the vicinity of HHH. I told you, I didn’t write this. IT’S NOT MY FAULT. I just work with the material they give me.

- Our match finally gets underway. Men are tossed out for naptime early on, as the match turns into one-on-one, then everyone clustershmozzes, repeat. Not terrible, but predictable. Bryan seems to be the favorite for Rey and Kane to beat on, as Alberto gets tossed away. Kane stands tall as we hit our first commercial break.


Erased from history. Or maybe because… hold on… wait bong rip…. wait, what’s going on? I… err….

- We’re back, and I’m almost wrestled out at this point with RAW, Impact, and now Smackdown. Fuck, I even watched a ROH episode from a month ago this morning….


I’m almost at this point…

- Kane still seems to be in control as we return, but the seemingly ineffectual Del Rio has only begun, dropping the Big Red Machine with a drop kick, and the same with Bryan who eats multiple kicks and a mudhole in the corner. Bryan returns the favor with a series of “YES!” kicks in the opposite corner… but this is far from over. Great portion here. Mysterio ends it by dropping upon them from the top ropes while it looks like Bryan is going to tap from Del Rio’s armbar. Then it’s the Kane show again. Eventually the boredom is quelled and we’re back to Del Rio and Bryan, the latter of which slaps on a YES! lock… But time is not on their side, and Kane, Rey, and Ricardo become relevant again. CHAOS! Kane decides to grab a front row seat, and it’s Rey’s turn for some near falls. He lands a double 619 on Bryan/Del Rio, but Alberto turns the tide and ekes out a win over Bryan. Mysterio’s Benoit’esque diving headbutt (stop doing that move, dumbass) on Bryan is not finished as Ricardo pulls Mysterio out of the ring allowing the heeltastic Del Rio to win.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan


A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online


The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 07/20/12<!—:—><!—:de—>Smackdown 07/20/12<!—:—><!—:zh—>Smackdown 07/20/12<!—:—>


It seems the last couple of months have been building up to this Monday. Meanwhile back in Smackdown Land, I’m sure most viewers are going into this just waiting for RAW. It’s kind of a bit of a joke though, because after next week’s Monday does the three hour tour… they are going to be scrambling for things to do to fill that extra hour. And let’s be frank for a moment here, they are having problems filling two hours. So what are we in store for tonight? A holding pattern? Two hours of vanilla tout videos? Ryback squashing someone? Momma’s being called? The answer to all of these questions is likely, “Yes,” but since it’s backstage dance time, let’s hop to it shall we?


I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- The show kicks off with Rey Mysterio. He’s all happy to be back and shit. Family, friends, hometown, return-from-injury-story-line. He needed to come back for revenge, because that’s what faces do… hit Alberto Del Rio’s music who enters sans car, avec Ricardo Rodrrrrrrrrrrrriguez. Chihuahua jokes, etc. Alberto orders him to leave. Rey says no. Typical… Dolph Ziggler comes out and cuts a great promo about winning the MitB briefcase, and his attempt to cash it in at the PPV which was foiled by Del Rio, who takes offense and calls Dolph a goof and Vickie a whore. Rey tells them to fight, so they look to fight Rey…. So Sheamus comes out and our main event is booked. Kind of bland start to the show, fella.

Sad, but true.

[caption id=”attachment_12252” align=”alignleft” width=”300”] Which is of course in relation to…[/caption][caption id=”” align=”alignleft” width=”300”]….THIS!  Wow, hope the WWE insures there cameramen![/caption]
- * Hunico, Camacho and The Prime Time Players (O’Neil and Young) vs. Epico, Primo, R Truth and Kofi Kingston. Ok, so the title was defended on the YouTube free show, and then an inconsequential tag match took place on the PPV (since the number one contenders have already been determined as being the PP’s?). What in the fuck is wrong with this company? In all fairness, Epico/Primo and Hunico/Camacho (yes, even Camacho) deliver well in the ring while AW begs the low-riders to tag in his team into the match. It’s kind of funny. Even though some people are hating on AW’s microphone being aired live, I think the guy’s gimmick has legs BUT I do also think THIS IS A GUY WHO NEEDS MCMAHON IN HIS EAR telling him what to say. Everything becomes a clustershmoz as the faces clear the ring and we go to commercials… When we return, The Prime Time Players are working their millions on Kofi for a while, until Primo hits a hot tag and some handsprings/top rope flips onto Darren Young. Primo is awesome here! AW issues an open challenge to Primo as a distraction, allowing for Titus O’neil knock him off the top into a Code-Breaker type finisher by Young who grabs the pin and the win! The PP’s do their dance, until the Big Shows music and they run for the hills. Big Show destroys the faces… grabs a microphone. Time to get serious…

Logo
I couldn’t resist making this animated gif… there is so much potential…

- Big Show, “And? What?” and leaves. Angry Show is fair superior to crying face Show. But both Shows are boring as hell in long matches… Cole tells us he is angry, yawn.

- Jeremy Piven is interviewed for his favorite RAW moment, which was when he tried to splash John Cena from the top ropes during the build for Summerfest. Revisionist history tends towards neglecting that groan-tacular RAW host moment.

Logo
Knocked his block off…

- A bunch of clips of Cena air from MitB and last Monday’s RAW. You already saw or read about this, so of course the FFW rules apply.

Who needs a head?
Cena felt bad for what Punk did to Show’s head and decided to “be a star” and go through the same experience to prevent Show from crying in the ring again. Oddly enough, no fucks were given.

- * Zack Ryder vs. Damien Sandow. We are all embarassing ourselves, according to Sandow, by supporting the Orange Guy. But said Oompah Loopah (who did it first, in wrestling), and immediately attacks Sandow. Big mistake. Sandow isolates and reduces the guy to almost jobber status with lethal attacks from all angles, and showing a new rage-inspired persona we have yet to see. Sandow dismantles the Internet Champion and finishes him. Hey come on, every generation needs a Brooklyn Brawler, and Ryder fits that bill right now.


Charles Barkley @G: “I dunno about the WWE anymore G, this show is bunk. I might tune in for the 1000th RAW… but 3 hours!?!? TURRIBLE!”

G @Charles Barkley: “Us smarks have been bemoaning the change for months now, but the first one should be pretty good.”

- PEEP SHOW! Christian is going to have the recently engaged Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee as guests. Look, it’s not Piper’s Pit, but I always mark out for Captain Charisma’s talkshow. They enter hand in hand, both wearing YES! YES! YES! shirts and both are glowing. We get a highlight package of the two planning their wedding. It’s campy as fuck, but pretty entertaining to say the least. I kind of wish they hadn’t FFW’d this gimmick in one week, so we could see a Vegan bachelor party and so forth. Christian gets to the nitty-gritty asking if this is the right thing, etc. Christian polls the crowd and they answer NO!. AJ slaps Christian… but CC notes that Bryan has a match tonight against a psychotic ex-boyfriend right now. Cue Kane’s pyro (even though he noted he isn’t boyfriend material. Man, they put Kane in a lot of shitty stories, huh?).


Also Sad, But True

- * Daniel Bryan vs. Kane. Kane dominates early, even going for a choke slam almost minutes in… AJ emotes as only she can on the outside as Bryan’s resiliencey keeps the Big Red Machine at bay.

- * Heath Slater vs. ….. who could it be? Hmm… Road Warrior Animal? Yep. Guess who wins? Whatever, this was entertaining. Animal of course wins.


Need I comment?

- Backstage Vickie forces me to mute my television as she shrieks at insane volume levels at Ricardo Rodriguez who speaks in Spanish. I have no fucking clue what happened here.

- * Sheamus and Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler. Entrances take forever with the heels both having Vickie and Ricardo, and Sheamus and Rey’s first real match comeback taking over. FUCK. I like entrances on occasion. This is not one of them. Save your time! FFW! Everything starts kind of slow… everyone gets a little offense in… enter the adverts. I just now really notice the big “?” on Mysterio’s chest. All men are great in this bout! Splendid main event to be seen on free TV. 20 minute main event! Sheamus ends up going to attack Del Rio for the finish, but is distracted by Rodriguez birthing a DQ finish in favor of the faces. Then the heels attack and serve another Armbar Injury Angle on Sheamus (likely to get him in a bit capacity on the 1000th RAW since they’ve totally overbooked it. Not complaining, I will mark out this Monday… but they’ve got no time for the regular talent). After referees run down and seem the end the spot, BAWH GAWD! The faces recover to prevail over the dastardly heels… and the usual animated gif…. loaded… almost there…. almost there…. Recording a tout…. raising a barn… Fuck this, no one cares…. bring on RAW 1000…


Do not underestimate the bad-assery that is Tom Waits.


Brooke is looking more like her Dad each and every week.


Ok, super clever marks go out to this smark.


Read into this as you will.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 07/13/12: Go Away Show.<!—:—><!—:de—>Smackdown 07/13/12: Go Away Show.<!—:—><!—:zh—>Smackdown 07/13/12: Go Away Show.<!—:—>

[caption id=”” align=”alignright” width=”160” caption=”Hey, it IS Friday the 13th, too.”][/caption]Yes, it’s the “Go Home” show for Money in the Bank this Sunday on PPV. And the whole damn product revolves around one thing… not the laptop, nor the Smackdown GM getting his Christmas Wish granted with the ability to speak (even though he was over in December…. shh! We are supposed to forget that!).

BWF RADIO INVADED WONDERPOD TODAY! CHECK THIS OUT NOW! Wonderpod Episode 118 A challenge has been issued, Jabronis! iTunes, archive.org, article and stream.

Yes, one character seems to have taken over in a illogical way. No, not Double A (that’s the “good” product). We’re one year out from the “Summer of Punk II” shtick. Wow. This is not your Ten Year Old’s WWE. RIght Mr. Cena?

Oh yeah, remember that Zach Ryder guy? No? Me neither, but it appears he is the GM for Smackdown. Turns out the computer is more popular in the WWE’s opinion. YAWN. Oh well, here’s the magical picture part of the review and the “hopping” reference:


'Nuff said, let's hop to it, shall we?

I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

-Will I be watching this PPV on Sunday? Fuck no. I’m getting stupid with my boys/girls at our annual “Stampede Retardness” event (we can’t spell correctly, that’s how retarded we get). So I turn this question of a Go Home show over to another more experienced member of the IWC to answer. An adopted son of the home of the Calgary Stampede, Mr. Lance Storm. Let’s get serious for a moment. Mr. Storm what’s your take on the current state of the WWE?

Disclaimer: I will probably enjoy the Smackdown MitB match, and will of course not illegally stream it. That would be wrong, and theft. Don’t steal, kids! That’s my job.

- A little clip package of Zach Ryder starts the show, explaining how he got this GM spot and shilling his Youtube success and Twitter handle. Lillian Garcia introduces him, and he makes his way down to the ring. Ryder doesn’t get much in until Alberto Del Rio comes out and runs him down for calling himself the Internet Champion of the World…. Del Rio will become the real world champion. Ryder books him against…

Logo
Charles Barkley @G: “Wait, you’re telling me that the TNA show we used to review is now better than the WWE, but the channel got dropped by Viacom so most fans are stuck with this turrible product? Ha ha, sure G, and white boys can play basketball too.”

G @Charles Barkley: “Well first, I reviewed the Impact product, you usually just ended up in jail. Secondly, yes, that is precisely what I’m telling you.”

- * Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara. To compensate for the lack of the trampoline, Sin Cara baseball slides into the ring, runs at the opposite middle ropes and does his somersault deal off of it. In a different era, when the black lighting effect shines above the ring, do you think Ricardo Rodriguez would have a bunch of white spots appear on his suit? I’m not insinuating anything, just thinking a la McMahon. Come on, this is the guy who originally wanted Kane in See No Evil to have a 3 foot penis in a masturbation scene. Just saying. Anyways, Del Rio’s initial domination is turned sour as the lucha picks up steam before our first commerical:

[youtube ELvRWY4uQtI]
Farley on the brain, since Heath Farley appeared on Impact this week…

- And we’re back… Del Rio is back in control, and is methodically working the little man down with submissions and humiliation spots. After a kind of boring chunk of time, Sin Cara finally gets his steam but misses a high risk top rope 180 splash allowing Del Rio to submit him with an armbar.

- We get a bunch of fan videos from Tout. Great, this will fill one hour of RAW when it goes to three hours.

- Zach is congratulated by Teddy Long, but then Big Show tells him he sucks and Khali enters the shot and he is announced as the opponent. Then Khali does the “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.” Guess one match I am FFW’ing through later? Can you?

Been stalking the dude who invented MySpace on Google + for a while.  He takes cool photos, turns out he also likes the educational merits of the Assassin's Creed series like myself.  Cool!

- * Darren Young vs. Primo. I am literally reminded of these guys having a match 3 weeks ago, and then Primo punking out them back stage as Rosa Mendez shrieked some inane babble. AW rocks his introduction on his Britany Spears microphone of the PPs. His audio is kind of buried in the audience noise and entrance music. Epico and Primo are wearing what appear to be bibs. I guess they just came from Red Lobster? Mendez gets the hard camera side, but AW is on a live microphone hollering at his team to “get this money” and a funny spot when Darren Young gets a near fall on Primo where AW claims, “This beat down is brought to you by All World Productions and Darren Young! Come on Darren, get that money!” AW is much more enjoyable and is reminding me more of Jimmy Hart more than ever. Young dominates most of the match, and he and AW play off each other fantastically. Primo attempts a Backcracker, but Young hangs on! Young gets school boyed!!! PRIMO WINS! This is a great matchup, continuing the rivalry, and truly expanding what the AW gimmick is all about. Thumbs up here!

Logo
Truer words were never spoken… evolve WWE, because I’m almost done.

- 1000th moment is Edge on April 11, 2011 retiring due to neck injuries. I think that was a good choice, because it was very significant. Dude retired as a champion, and call me Canadian because I teared up a little that Monday.

- Ryder is talking to Sheamus about having a show to run, and Jericho enter and calls this thing a train wreck. I disagree Jericho, last Monday was a fucking train wreck. Sheamus steps up, so Ryder makes a match.


Dave’s right, you know.

- * Christian and Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler and Cody Rhodes. It’s pretty noticeable that Ziggler is letting his blonde hair dyejob fade out. Read into that as you will. This looks like it could have some legs (but wouldn’t mind seeing this turn into a sledge hockey match either, and in all honesty check it out some time. Looks like fun for me, able-bodied or not. Takes some serious upper body strength. I watched a ton of it during the 2010 Winter Olympics).

- Anyways, Santino and Ziggler start us off with Ziggler shaking his head at the US Champ. But one should not underestimate the somovagun. An early tag brings Christian into the bout, as the heeltastic isolation story is told. At one point, Rhodes puts Christian in a ten second delayed slam. Always love that spot. Santino gets the hot tag and hits his usual routine with the splits, the diving headbutt, and goes to set up the Cobra… BUT NO! Rhodes delays this, Christian takes him to the outside and a recovered Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag and pins Santino for the win!


Source

- Up next is “The Love Triangle” between A.J. and some other guys. Can’t remember who those jabroni’s are.


Eco-friendly.

- Charlie Sheen is still advertized as the Social Ambassador for the 1000th RAW. We’ll see about that, and we’ll be talking about it on BWF Radio Episode 31 this Sunday! Then we get the clip package of the Punk/Bryan/AJ stuff and some laptop GM bits. Not a fuck was given that night by me…. not one. Well, that’s a lie… there was one thing I really enjoyed, and here is both an animated gif and retort as to what it was here:


Chael Sonnen was dissected in the second round by Anderson Silva last Saturday. Some might say this spot that occurred on RAW was a slight nod to that. It wouldn’t shock me, considering Chael is tight with Punk and consults Steve Austin as how to react. The dirty dirt sheets report that the WWE has interest in Sonnen. I’d like to see that. The dude can cut a promo, even when he isn’t quoting Superstar Billy Graham.

- * Big Show vs. The Great Khali. I told you I would not watch this garbage unless on FFW. And even then it’s pretty terrible. Meh. Skip this, don’t waste your time. Big Show KO’s him in under a minute. Did I mention the Wonderpod Episode 118”>BWF are talking Mike Tyson’s Punch Out on Wonderpod #118 this week?


I beg to differ, sir. ‘Round these parts, Khali is mediocre.

- Ugghh.. G gets distracted by things for 45 minutes…. Dammit. TNA is better. How did that happen, again?

- Tagteam titles on Youtube before the PPV. Non-title? Not watching.

- * Ryback vs. Tyler Reks w/Kurt Hawkins. I think Cole called Ryback’s finish “The March of the Competition”? Reks gets on the microphone and tells us he’ll what done that his partner couldn’t do. Sure, buddy. Both of you are getting double slammed on the PPV unannounced. Reks almost gets an offensive punch strike combination in… only to fucked up. First time ever, an outside competitor smashing a cane into Ryback’s face. Hawkins of course. Not enough, as Ryback puts him away. But we did see some actually “competition” between the two. Ryback is slightly leveled down in this bout with less hitpoints, stamina, defence, strength, and mana. Dude still eats the guy, though.

Logo
The WWE needs an “out,” like Q on Star Trek: The Next Generation, every show that jumps the shark needs an “out” of crappy story lines…. right, The Great Gazoo?

- 1000th RAW moment - Host Hugh Jackman discusses his RAW celebrity host spot. True, dude was in the backstage and immediately went up to the Brooklyn Brawler for an autograph… Too-tall-Wolverine gets a pass (it was good, and he did change my tune about his casting as Wolvie).

Logo
The_Great_Gazoo_65 @G: “If the shoe fits, Dum Dum!”

G @The_Great_Gazoo_65: “Now all we need is, is an out of this A.J. storyline that pulled “The Fonz” a couple weeks back…”

- More Tout bullshit. Don’t care. FFW.

- * Damien Sandow vs. Justin Gabriel. Being highly touted, Gabriel “Ex-Werewolf” is already in the ring. Tout takes precedence… Sandow enters gloriously. I smell a squash… Sandow does a new charisma move on fallen Gabriel with an arm swirl elbow drop. Sandow hits his finisher in about 2 minutes,

- Hornswoggle GM reveal clips from RAW… FFW… angry again.


As easy as it is to rip on Vince Russo, the CURRENT team of writers (see: VKM) thought Hornswoggle was the ideal choice for the anonymous RAW GM.

- Did I Know? “In 1993, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, and CM Punk were still in middle school.” It’s not even fun making fun of the “facts” anymore.

- * Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho - Sheamus enters first. Jericho “jackets” it up…. main event, next. Fucking ads…

[youtube kFkk6ox_1Ow]
This one is better. DUKE!

- This is a match that is about trading spots. Both men do damage and set up minor signiture moves for the first segment… decent so far. Jericho manhandles Sheamus during the break, we’re told. But of course, as we return, the pale one gets his attack on, hair did, etc. Exhaustion sets in, and the men get more careless, as Jericho lands a mid rope launched drop kick and a hard-camera Lionsault. Sheamus gets some steam back, looks for a Celtic Cross, NO! Walls of Jericho! Rope break… White Noise attempt into another Walls of Jericho! Middle of the ring face crawl… drag back… Hulk up to the rope! Sheamus breaks the hold and hits the White Noise! NO PIN. More finisher missed spots… ok this match is watchable, no doubt…. Sheamus pulls himself from the seated position on the canvas to the top rope only to eat a Code Breaker! DUDE! Sheamus pulls himself up after much abuse as an angry Jericho yell at him…. Y2J charges, right into a sick looking Brogue Kick, and wins the match. God Bless you Chris Jericho, you helped Sheamus look important and gave us a great match as a result!

- We’re not done. Post match Del Rio comes out and assaults the worn Sheamus, and dangles him off the entrance ramp side in an armbar.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 07/03/12: Great American Bash, Playah!<!—:—><!—:de—>Smackdown 07/03/12: Great American Bash, Playah!<!—:—><!—:zh—>Smackdown 07/03/12: Great American Bash, Playah!<!—:—>

It’s Tuesday, you know what that means. Wait, it’s Tuesday? What in the blue hell? I’m not even supposed to be working here today! Great American Bash? More like Holla, Holla, Playah, Holla! It’s Teddy Long time, folks. So let’s just make our way down to the ring, shall we? No hopping to it this time.

Fortunately I got to watch this with my fellow smark “Kasan” on the Stickam account "Threewaydance". While I generally am at work when it’s live, if you want fellow wrestling fans to break down the action with live, I highly recommend checking them out.


Flowchart!


I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- According to the PWT, the next interim WWE General Manager will be determined by the winner of The Great American Bash battle royal on tonight’s live SmackDown…. hmm… what will we get, tonight?

- Our show kicks off with the mandatory party backstage like they do with all the holiday parties. Every jobber and Superstar not worth a damn to the A show is in BBQ mode. Teddy Long is the host, and Eve is name-tagged as the person to clean up stuff. Santino goes to light the BBQ, but can’t get it done. Enter Kane who summons fire and lights the grill. Ok, that was at least clever.


Or take him to court with Scott Steiner! Badda bing!

- Del Rio grabs the microphone and rips on the crowd for liking Sheamus as they are a bunch of white trash. Sheamus is going back to the place that he belongs and is an illegal immigrant. He demands to see fans papers then harasses the crowd. Enter the Great White, who beats him down. Ricardo opens the car hood and tells to put Sheamus under the hood so they could slam the hood down on him…The refs come to check on the fallen Sheamus as we cut to break.


Indeed, I am.

- * Khali/Layla vs. Antonio Cesaro/Aksana - Khali is being placed in as a revenge spot in the name of Teddy Long. Highly forgettable match, just a one-off fun one for the kids and stuff. Layla pins Aksana.

Logo
Charles Barkley @G: “Why are you texting me? It’s Tuesday, honkey. Ain’t no wrasslin’ on Tuesday. I’m getting an early start to the my Welcome to Earf Day!”

G @Charles Barkley: “Wait, it’s Independence Day, Barks. It’s not a movie holiday, it was an actual historical event. P.S. The Titanic was real too. Just sayin’.”

- Mick Foley’s 1000th memory is when 600,000 fans tuned out from WCW to watch him win the title. Same old, same old. Yawn,

- *Christian vs. Cody Rhodes. MitB Qualifier (for Cody only?). Christian is rocking a new chemistry table of the elements T-Shirt lately, which is certainly a step up from his last shirt. The money in the bank brief case is suspended above the ring. Rhodes is in high gear, certainly motivated. He hits a nice bunch of spots. When we return, Rhodes is coming out of the rest spot… Christian looks to hulk up, but Rhodes will not give much of an inch. Christian continually attempts a number of 2 counts near the end, and a failed finish leads to Rhodes reversing into a DDT type spot for the win!


TIMMY! TIMMY, TIM, TAM! …and the Lords of the Underworld.

- Somehow Tensai qualified earlier for the MitB, missed something. Back to the party in the back, where the One Man Band sings terribly and food and garbage is thrown at him for his troubles, and DJ Zack Ryder hits Brodus’ music, dance sequence, end.

-* Alex Riley vs Dolph Ziggler (MitB qualifier). Vickie does her normal excuse me! and we get underway. Dolph is dominating, while still allowing Riley too look good. Riley even gets a near fall, as Dolph bumps his way through to a flying neckbreaker spot to pick up the win and qualify!

Logo
Hopefully buddy’s alright… oww…

- Cole interviews A.J…. clip packages… LONG CLIP PACKAGE. Cole calls her a little girl, or as my man Kasan notes, “She is like that college girl who flipped off the high school girl.” Cole points out she should go after a man with power, and Cole goes into Pedo-bear mode hitting on her! LOL! Of all people to save the young A.J., Daniel Bryan makes the save. He calls Cole he is under the impression he is a television journalist, but rather he is a sexist bully who when doesn’t get a story he likes, he makes things up to fit his mold. Read between the lines, he talking about Vince. Bryan thinks that only Punk needed to go through the table on RAW, and forgives her for that… hit up Punk’s music!

Logo
Or take him to court with Scott Steiner! Badda bing!

- A.J. makes the eyes at Punk, who immediately tells Cole to get out of the ring. Two people were directly affected by A.J.’s actions last night, him and Bryan. But unlike Bryan, he is not going to sweep this under the rug, or suck up to her… he is going to be honest. He’s worried about her, she’s not in a good place mentally (and maybe some of that is his fault, and apologizes for contributing towards it). She needs professional help… Bryan calls Punk’s shtick a load of garbage. Deep down, Punk NEEDS AJ as a referee to beat him. A.J. separates the two, then proceeds to make out with Bryan. Punk walks away dejected, so A.J. goes and makes out with him too! Where’s Kane? Where’s the MONO medicine? Are Punk and Bryan going to make out too? Nope, A.J. just skips off!

Logo
Where, oh where are G’s ice cream bars? Fuck you TNA. Pay her medical bills. I know this is dated, I’m still angry. A.J.

- *Santino/Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs Drew McIntyre/Camacho/Hunico - Camacho starts? What he actually wrestles? Whatever, the US Champ is a Canadian playing an Italian playing an American champ. This match is a feel good happy independence day deal with the old guys getting in clotheslines and Santino landing the Cobra on one of them, who cares. USA… USA… USA… notes Cole sarcastically.

Logo
Charles Barkley @G: “Ignorant fool! The 4th is Fresh Prince Day. And Titanic was only good for Dat Ass, Kate Winslet. I’d ride on that boat!”

G @Charles Barkley: “Ok, either you took one too many balls to the head, or you’re just trolling me… jerk.”

- Back to the BBQ! All the jobbers are dancing while R-Truth and Long watch Little Jimmy get down. Then Damien Sandow interrupts and calls bullshit on the celebration. Zack Ryder gets up in his face, then a food fight ends up with Eve doused in Party Punch. Long mocks her, and Eve runs off in tears. BE A STAR, PLAYAH!

Logo
Charles Barkley @G: “PEW! PEW! PEW! WELCOME TO EARF!”

G @Charles Barkley: “Screw this, I’m going to go hang with DJ Jazzy Jeff.”

- Tyler Rexx and Curt Hawkins are in the ring and explain they flipped a coin to see who would face Ryback…

- * Ryback vs Curt Hawkins - At least it’s something different than the jobbers. “Ryback belongs in Killer Instinct” according to Kasan. Ryback eats up Hawkins as Rexx looks on in horror! HORROR!

- Donald Trump is interviewed for the 1000th RAW, talking about the Vince’s Fan Appreciation Night in 2006. Trump trumps Vince by telling him the fan’s want value and drops 1000’s of dollars onto the crowd. Cole kisses the fans asses thanking the WWE after the fact. Then some chick from some random no-name show called “Haunted Highway” is in the crowd shilling her show on SyFy premiering after Smackdown.

- Enter Teddy Long in his BBQ clothes, thanking the crowd to find out who will be the GM next week with the GAB Battle Royale… Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger….


At least he’s in on the joke too!

- …Cena… commericials are in this too… Sandow, Tensai, Slater, Punk, Bryan, pretty much everyone and his mom is in this one. Clay, Show, etc… Show kills everyone. Werewolf down! Werewolf down! Funkasaurus gone! Khali is killing Slater… but he gets his via Tensai. Sandow is gone via Ryder… more commercials…

Logo
I suppose this is A.J. meeting Lita in 2001… or so the dirty dirt sheets would have us believe. YOU DECIDE!

- Punk takes a foolish risk and is tossed out! Down to eight! Christian, Del Rio, Show, Kane, Cena, Tensai, Ziggler, Ryder… Del Rio gets tossed! Tensai is working Cena, but Tensai eats the floor for his efforts and Show tosses Cena. Show eliminates Christian! Kane double eliminates both Show and Ziggler… OUR FINAL TWO ARE RYDER AND KANE! They were feuding like 6 months ago? Remember? Kane is man-handling Ryder, but Ryder keeps making it out the way! YOUR NEXT GM? ZACK RYDER! “What’s your reward for being thrown off the stage in a wheel chair? A Battle Royal win! Amazing… big payoff” says Kasan. So does this mean that Ryder gets the Christmas Wish for the ability to speak? Ryder? RYDER? LOL. Random Spiderman gif? Yep.

Logo
At least the reboot addresses Parker’s parents fate. Looks good, folks!

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 06/29/12: MitB Qualifiers Begin!<!—:—><!—:de—>Smackdown 06/29/12: MitB Qualifiers Begin!<!—:—><!—:zh—>Smackdown 06/29/12: MitB Qualifiers Begin!<!—:—>

Well, the description of tonight’s episode is “examining John Cena’s role on next week’s Great American Bash.” That’s right, next week is the GAB PPV converted into what appears to be Smackdown (not RAW? Really?). Whatever, I’m already distracted enough by other stuff tonight, so maybe this will make it easier to digest this show? Let’s get to steppin’ and see what happens, shall we?

Note from G: Don’t let my sarcastic cynicism fool you, this was a pretty solid episode.


I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- A bunch of clip crap from last week and RAW. Then A.J. skips down to the ring…

* Non-Title Match: Layla {C} vs. A.J.


Why? Why is this considered a Diva’s match?

- Le meh (French for “I give this many fucks (makes pinchy fingers). Non Title too? There is only ONE diva who means anything on this show lately, and she doesn’t even get a shot at the title? TURRIBLE. Notable, that Layla is wearing one knee brace (working through injury?) and both seem to be working as faces in this match. The two work in a bunch of restholds, until A.J. pulls out some kicks or something. YAWN. FFW. A,J, looks to drop Layla with a spinning heel kick until Bryan Daniels runs around the ring shouting “YES!” This allows Layla to get the roll up win on A.J. The latter freaks out and does her crazy beat down post match….


Now THIS is a cat meme I can get behind.

- Daniels stands on the ring apron as the crowd errupts in YES! chants. Bryan notes it’s not that much fun when someone distracts you in a match. But he’s not here because he’s an attention whore like her. He refuses to leave the ring until Vickie comes out and gives him what he wants… nothing happens…. Bryan, “You’ve left me with no choice… YES! YES! YES!” The crowd plays along and A.J. mocks him shouting YES! as our opening segment ends. The match sucked, but it got us to where we need to be storyline-wise.

[caption id=”” align=”aligncenter” width=”534” caption=“‘Nuff said.”][/caption]

- Vickie finally comes out, and Bryan informs her that he needed to make a point. He beat Kane AND CM Punk in the same match. And both RAW and Smackdown revolve around him. He deserves his title shot, and kisses Vickie’s ass about her making this decision. The end result will be that she will be the GM and he will be the champion, but they need to work hand-in-hand. But he needs Vickie to go to the Board of Directors to have A.J. banned from ringside at the match at MitB. Vickie is already vindictive towards the crazy girl, and begins to tear her a new one… WWE.com held a poll about what role they want to see A.J. in at this match, and they voted for Special Guest Referee. A.J. smugly looks at the two heels and leads the crowd in YES! chants as she leaves. Bryan flips out, and cleverly chants NO! repeatedly as the crowd counters with YES! as he storms off.


So there were no traces of bath salts in the infamous face-eater’s system. Great, here comes the zombie stuff again, and I love the zombies.

- Vickie announces that over the next two weeks, Smackdown will host a series of qualifying matches for the MitB for the Blue Brand… starting now.

- * Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Zack Ryder vs. Damien Sandow. Damien is here to help all of us, and his opponent too! When he emerges victorious, us unwashed masses will have a new champion we need and yearn for. We’re welcome. Sandow needs this win, so does Ryder. It’s a quick pace to start, and Sandow sells very well for Ryder. Sandow also really plays the dirty filthy heeltastic style. Damien puts Ryder in a FULL NELSON AND PROCEEDS TO BASH HIS FACE INTO THE TOP RING BUCKLE! BRILLIANT SPOT! Ryder gets his energy back, and looks to hit the Roughryder, BUT NO!!! Sandow hits his finisher, pin and the win! Great little match, but a shame both of these men can’t be in the MitB ladder match.

Logo
Charles Barkley @G: “I rocked out with the band Redemption recently, this guitar thing is pretty easy. They took my microphone away though…”

G @Charles Barkley: “Let me guess, they told you to “SHUT UP AND JAM!”?”

- Bryan knocks on the Diva’s door looking for A.J., but meets up with Katelyn and comedically says, “You didn’t hear this from me, but she’s a little bit mentally unstable.”

- * Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd. Ok, first off ask yourself, WHO would you REALLY think will entertain more in a MitB match. If your answer doesn’t start with “T” and end with “yson Kidd” your opinion is WRONG! Kidd immediately gets slammed, but turns this into a bit of a clinic on how to combine acrobatics with psychology…. hence no unnecessary high spots and “getting his shit in.” Swagger still dominates this thing as Kidd sells like a champion. Not to be outdone, Swagger is able to demonstrate his catch-as-catch-can matt-based excellence with an opponent who can match up with him. Kidd hits an impressive reversal swinging DDT, then a series of spinning and flying kicks. Anklelock reversal by Kidd who climbs up the ropes like a monkey, and lands his own variation of Sliced Bread #2 FOR THE WIN!!! YES!!!! I never claimed to be unbiased, but I’m stoked for the PPV now with Sandow AND Kidd both qualifying! FUCK YEAH!


Speaking of kicking out the jams…

- Dolph flips out on Vickie backstage. He’s tired of working his ass off for the last 6 years, and it’s her job to give him an opportunity. Vickie slaps him, then they exchange words civilly…. change is coming? Not sure, because they’ve been teasing this for what feels like fucking years.


My kind of heel… get him on the main roster, STAT!

- * Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Christian and Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes and David Otunga. Notable: Otunga is totally doing the Chris Masters entrance pose down at the start. Of course Masters stole it too, but I digress. This is pretty much paint-by-the-numbers for a tag team bout. I guess both winners go into the MitB? Things get all hectic (Blackbox style), as the referee can’t control a thing. When he finally does, enter the heels isolate Santino in the corner cliche. Christian finally gets a hot tag and tangos with Rhodes for a while, as Otunga and Santino vanish… they reappear only to let Otunga take the loss as Santino and Christian celebrate. Both qualify, and now we have 3 faces and 1 heel in the match. I am expecting 8 total as we still have one more qualifier to go tonight,


Leave it to Punk to make Alicia Fox’s terrible ring gear actually entertaining.

- Fella McPale gets interviewed about his triple threat title match tonight. Cliche interview. Not worth a look. Yawn.

- A.J. is seen backstage talking to herself, and Enter The American Dragon who appeals to her about her mental health and whether she has ever sought help. He knows a doctor, and asks if she wants his number. A.J. smirks and says, “YES!” a bunch.

[caption id=”” align=”alignright” width=”322” caption=”FORCE PUSH!”][/caption]

* Ryback vs Dan Barone and Brandon Burke. You know what happens here. The jobbers kick out some jams with a little freestyle rap, which is horrible. Perfect, once again something just a little different. Ry Van Back enters ready to kill stating, “It’s feeding time.” Barone gets killed, and Burke says fuck this and flees attempting to leave. NO! Ryback meets him at the entrance ramp and super kicks him. Foolish fool, you should have fled through the audience. Then Ryback eats them.

- Antonio Cesaro and Aksana are making out backstage… HOLLA HOLLA! Teddy Long interrupts their face-sucking to let them know he will be the GM next week on the Live SuperSmackdown on Tuesday (Great American Bash), that he’s sees through the bullshit of Aksana… and, he’s booked them in a tag match against Layla and the Mediocre Khali. Looks like I’m working Tuesday Night for the BWF/WPO (P.S. Joe remind me of this on BWF Radio Episode 29 on Sunday at both sites. MAKE SURE YOU CHECK IT OUT, FOLKS! I’LL BE WATCHING THE EURO FINALS AND THE FREE AGENT FRENZY FOR THE NHL WHILE I RECORD WITH ThinkSoJoE!! It’s going to be awesome!).


The horror! The horror!

- * Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Tensai vs. Justin Gabriel. Tensai murders Gabriel, quickly and decisively. 2 heels, 3 faces in the MitB. Totally a nothing match here.


Quite frankly, I’ve got nothing.

- * World Title Match: Sheamus {C} vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler


We saw this on Monday… what epic Ziggler sell will we get tonight?

- Lillian adds that little extra Spanish accent on introducing Ricardo Rodriguez who will introduce Alberto Del Rio. Stands out, kind of awkwardly… just saying. Del Rio talks as he comes down, going for cheap heat about this bumblefuck town they’re in. But since Vince McMahon doesn’t want people to know where they are, he doesn’t identify where they are. But Del Rio ALSO notes that he hasn’t gotten his one-on-one match title shot he earned back in April! Crap, forgot about that. EXCUSE ME! Vickie comes out, and notes he is not going to win tonight, rather the man she is here to introduce, Dolph Ziggler. Then out comes Sheamus, who has nothing to say, just a belt to defend…


Sign this guy back TNA, or he’s WWE bound for the proposed Cruiser show…

- Looks like they might be giving this one 20 minutes or so. So grab some popcorn and a soda from the lobby and sink yourself into your chair. As opposed to writing a play-by-play, I’ll just give you the post-match thoughts. Plus, you know my rules about that stuff… no need to write a fucking essay, my shit’s opinionated enough as it is.


And sadly, it will stay that way until WWE settles this lawsuit with TNA…

- Our first segment is solid. They play off the typical triple threat story by having someone tossed to the outside while two others face off. All men get some face/heel time (LOL), and the story is about wearing each other down, like an eroding Hoodoo in Alberta’s Badlands. Fuck parts unknown, I’m from the fucking Badlands, jerk.

[caption id=”” align=”aligncenter” width=”368” caption=”I plan on doing my annual “Death Via Badlands” hike this summer. So if these reviews cease to appear, I’ve opted to become a fossil. Albertasaurus, baby! I am well aware this appears phallic.”][/caption]

- This Tuesday we get a Battle Royal. I’m already smarking out. Anyways, the second segment just ups the turmoil and destruction from the first. No complaints as everyone looked great. Children learn to count at home courtesy of Sheamus on Ziggler, but they also learn to never turn your back on Alberto Del Rio who did not want math skills to be taught. Sheamus turns it around, but as he looks to strike, Del Rio returned and fucked up his shit with his armbar arm-weakening, etc. Bodies everywhere, and Dolph broke up an armbar lock on Sheamus. Dolph picks up a 2 99/100 count fail attempt on Del Rio, then ate a Brogue Kick via Sheamus on a second attempt for the pin. Sheamus retained. Great match, terrible outcome for the ICW. Whatever, I was entertained and no logic holes.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

<!—:en—>Smackdown 06/22/12<!—:—><!—:de—>Smackdown 06/22/12<!—:—><!—:zh—>Smackdown 06/22/12<!—:—>

Let’s hip-hop to it, shall we? Word?


Making the “hop to it” phrase about as appropriate as possible this week, right Harley Quinn?


I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- Teddy Long comes out to remind us Laurinaitus is gone, and our GM of the night is Mick Foley. Then Big Show’s music hits? Hmm… I smell a sham. Show doesn’t care that Johnny Ace got fired, or any of us. He only cares about himself… blah, blah, blah. Congrats to Cena who escaped the cage with help from his cronies, but could never beat him in a fair match. The kids and women chant Cena, Cena, etc. Show doesn’t care about Cena anymore, rather turning his attention to the Money in the Bank match and no one can stop him in that match.


Hey look! The Cramp is a Champ! What a joke.

- Brodus Clay’s music hits, and him and the Funkadactyls make their way down… no dancing, Clay looks serious and pissed off. Clay reverses an Irish Whip and head butts Show! Not enough, Show drops Clay and repeatedly kicks him in the back of the knee everytime he tries to get up. A “You Can’t Wrestle” chant breaks out after a few of these. Show gets angry and KO’s Clay with the WMD. David Otunga watches at ring side in his gear smiling at Show’s beatdown of Clay. After, Otunga mocks Clay on the microphone and tells them he is going to show him how it’s done, then proceeds to dance horribly to Clay’s theme song.


And facial tattoos are forever. He said that too.

- * Ryback vs Frank Venezia and Brian Hardy Jared Wachtler. I think I got the spelling right. They promise that this will be the summer to remember. Ryback does what he always does, eat people. Frank gets power bombed onto Jared, then both take his finisher and the double pin.


Who will Ryback (inaccurately) call “stupid” tonight?

- Foley talks with Vickie backstage, and we’re told she will be running both RAW and Smackdown. Foley suggests she use Khali as her assistant and the Mediocre one dances and Vickie runs off. Ok… sure…. Daniel Bryan’s favorite 1000th RAW memory was when the Rockers split and faced each other post-barber-shop window for the I.C. title which Janetty won.


Here he comes, here comes Speed Racer, he’s a demon on wheels. He’s a demon and he’s going to be chasing after someone!

- * Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio. Speaking of the I.C. Title, Ricardo Rodriguez introduces the champ’s opponent for the night, Alberto Del Rio. I kind of wander off on the computer as this match starts out… and pick back up as Christian cross body splashes Del Rio on the outside from the top ropes! Cool! The two return to action after a commercial break exchanging a variety of high spots and mat work. Christian goes for a Killswitch which is reversed, but Del Rio can’t finish off Captain Charisma… frustrated, he attempts a top rope leg drop, misses… Christian tries a spear, NO! He eats a semi-super kick… another failed Kill Switch, Christian goes for a frog splash, but Del Rio kicks him off and slaps on an armbar to submit Christian for the win. Your new I.C. Champion? No one because it wasn’t for the belt, which is retarded. Cody Rhodes runs in post match and clotheslines and beats on Christian. He too slaps on an armbar. Christian makes his way to his feet, but is tossed into a ring post for his efforts. Rhodes screams at Christian “You’re stealing my time! I AM SMACKDOWN!”

Logo
Charles Barkley @G: “Here’s me doing a try out spot announcing RAW last week. Some idiot kept yelling in my ear “Shit all over Cindy’s legacy that helped boost us into the mainstream back in the eighties.” I said, “fuck this, I’m going back to cross-dressing with Marv Albert.”“

G @Charles Barkley: “Yeah, you did the right thing Chuck. That segment was terri… err… turrible. Well, Cole was. The rest ruled. Ruck Fools McMahon!”

- * Kane vs. Daniel Bryan. AJ is our special guest time keeper who is all smiles for Kane and menacingly mischievous towards Bryan. Mick Foley must have “tweaked” this match for whatever reason. The two start off a little awkwardly, but business picks up as they take it outside. The camera constantly cuts to AJ every five seconds with a different facial expression each time, while fidgeting in her swivel chair with the ring bell hammer in her hand. Both men exchange fairly equal offense upon each other, which makes this a pretty solid match sans constant-AJ face time. Bryan hulks up to YES! chants after landing a standing drop kick to an airborn Kane. Bryan looks to submit Kane, as the ring bell rings (AJ!) but the referee keeps the match going. This allows Kane to land a chokeslam and grab the win.

Logo
Marv Albert @G: “Some damn midget punk on that wrasslin’ show stole my catchphrase!”

G @Marv Albert: “LOL, he stole it from an indie guy in Ontario. You can’t license a three letter word, Marv.”

- Foley hits the ring to address the crowd. He hits his cheap pops with Baltimore and then is immediately interrupted by Heath Slater. He wants to lead a protest about being embarrassed by Lauper and Piper on Monday… but Foley has him booked in a match against a guy who got snubbed in his hometown on Monday…


What a maneuver! Ten Pin Bowl-Over from the top ropes!

- * Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater. Ryder rolls over Slater in about a minute. Meanwhile, That Damn Double C and I discuss how the Carolina Hurricanes currently have 3/4 Staal brothers in their club now. PUCK YOU! Episode 5 (Season 3) came out this week as we reflected on the year of the NHL… Backstage, Sandow, Ryder, and Foley have a forgettable exchange that will likely result in Ryder vs Sandow.

-* The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players (w/ AW). AW introduces us to the PTP, with lots of energy and hashtags. I’ll give him credit, while the Abraham Washington Show sucked, the guy is great on the microphone in this role. Glad they actually pulled the trigger on him, because for a while it looked like he was forgotten about. The two teams have a great little match, ultimately culminating with AW distracting the referee allowing Darren Young to take out an Uso that is subsequently pinned by Titus O’Neil.

- Backstage, the PTP’s are celebrating with AW, but are confronted by the Colons. One of them pops AW in the mouth, and a brawl ensues… referee breaks them up as Rosa Mendez shrieks.


I… umm…. Chapstick FTW?,

- Santino Marella comes out to pick the “Sign of the Night” putting some really lame choices on screen. Of course he finds an “I Love Santino” sign and calls the lady holding it down to the ring. Of course she has a shirt, and a Cobra glove. She’s a plant and a total mark character. They make their Cobra gloves kiss, and then the lady slathers lipstick on his face as Santino smiles and faints. /Comedysegment.

- Jimmy Fallon had CM Punk on his show. We see clips. I had no idea (or forgot) this was happening.

- * Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler. Looks like these guys will get about ten minutes or so…. Sheamus dominates to start, taunting Dolph… or just making him angry. Sheamus hits a couple power moves, while Vickie goes into shriek mode at ringside. Dolph begins to turn momentum around in our second segment, locking on a number of headlocks and working Sheamus with punches to the head. Sheamus keeps getting reversed by the slithery Ziggler who attempts numerous roll ups. Damn this is a great match. We’ve seen a number of these over the last while, and none of them have been bad. Just go watch it. Dolph eats a sick Brogue Kick as Sheamus picks up the win! No surprise on the outcome, but this was yet another treat! Thank god Randy Orton failed a drug test!


D’ohhh!! Oh wait, NO! We want Dolph as a singles guy, IWC… but… D’ahh… exclamation points.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

—————————————————————————————

LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

—————————————————————————————-

That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-220-8949. Or, coincidentally, 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

—————————————————————————————

This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

—————————————————————————————-

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan


A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Logo
Wonderpod Online


The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

—————————————————————————————

Shameless Plugs!

—————————————————————————————-

The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.