alcreed:

Something wrong, with that Kid… - 8-Bit Kevin Spencer w/ Allan The Magic Goose

The Shadow Hearts games are hilarious, fun, and great RPGs. All of them. If you’ve not tried at least one of them, you’ve seriously been missing out. Funnily enough, you won’t find them on most peoples’ top RPG listings. This is because of various factors such as better RPGs being out the same year, shortsightedness, or probably not having played them, but all the same, they’re great games that you should definitely check out immediately.

Since you clicked the more button, I’m guessing you probably having checked these out yet. Also, as usual, I have embedded youtube stuffs in the pics. Alrighty, well let’s start with one that doesn’t have the title Shadow Hearts, but is linked all the same…

Koudelka

When I first played Koudelka, my reaction was ehhhhhh. As time went on, it slowly progressed to meh, then eventually just okay. See, here’s the thing. Koudelka is a game rife with interesting ideas and shitty execution all around…plus, obnoxiously terrible voice acting and mediocre music. It’s really not a very GOOD game, but it’s still an interesting one all the same.

I don’t even remember the story very well, but it doesn’t matter. Effectively a mystic, some generic adventurer, and a priest team up to kick some monster ass. Initially, the game plays like a survival horror game, but when you get into battle, it’s turn based strategy, complete with tiles and stuff. Honestly, I still can’t tell you why they bothered with the tile system because it really doesn’t add any true strategy to the game.

Weapons also break, but you find them constantly and randomly throughout the game, both in the field and battle. The most interesting aspect is you have proficiencies for both magic and weapons. So eventually, over time, you can rack up all kinds of amazing combos by being dedicated to certain kinds of attacks…but that’s assuming you can keep certain types of weapons in your inventory long enough to develop your proficiencies.

Honestly, certain things, like guns, should never break, but oh man do they ever. This leads to a lot of the frustration in the game because often it’s quite random what will and won’t hurt various bosses. You could give this one a pass, but then you’d be…well, I was going to say missing out, but no, you can give this one a pass. There’s really very little to it beyond the interesting proficiency engine.

Shadow Hearts

The original Shadow Hearts is a GOOD game. Not great, just good. First off, we have another sarcastic jackass hero, Yuri, but this one’s actually good and likeable, unlike Koudelka. In fact, there are a lot of positive things I can say about Shadow Hearts, so let me first talk about two very negative things. Firstly, the overall production values are very low. The music is okay, the graphics are kinda meh for a PS2 title, the animations and most monsters in general are fairly bland, and overall it comes off as generic.

The one thing that comes up in this game that carries over to other Shadow Hearts games is the ring system. Basically when you go to attack, a ring comes up, complete with different spots that you must tap as the line goes around in order to perform a combo. Miss one and the ring stops and you get what you get. You can also aim for slightly smaller sections that are red for slightly harder attacks, but it’s a gamble.

There are various ring effects that can cause it to become smaller, get disoriented, not show the areas you need to hit, move faster, etc. As you defeat enemies, you also capture their souls, which can be used to acquire new forms for Yuri. The plot is hilarious, there are a few gay undertones here and there, and overall the game is very fun, just a little generic when all’s said and done.

Shadow Hearts - Covenant

Now THIS is the game to play in the Shadow Hearts series. Not only were the graphics and overall presentation increased greatly, but it brought back Yuri along with a bunch of other strange characters for an epic story across WWI Europe. It’s been a while since I played the game, so I apologize for not having much more commentary than that, but know this: if you’re looking for a fun, strange title for the PS2 that is of top notch, you needn’t look any further.

Shadow Hearts - From the New World

And then this happened. Now let me explain. I didn’t understand just how epic Covenant was because I never got a chance to play it initially. I really enjoyed and still enjoy this game…however, it doesn’t quite live up to the standard that Covenant set. Sure, it’s got a bunch of wacky characters that travel the globe in a pre-WW2 setting and has a lot of American locations, but…it’s just not of the same caliber.

I mean, think about it like this. Arc the Lad 2 was an incredible game and Arc the Lad 3 was pretty goddamn awesome, too. So naturally, when I saw Twilight of Spirits for the PS2, I was stoked. And while there are a number of good twists and it’s cool to see an Arc the Lad game with 3D graphics, it’s really not very good, especially in comparison to previous games in the series.

From the New World is a great game, but it’s not a great Shadow Hearts game. There really isn’t much that it does to innovate on the formula Covenant came about with, so even mentioning the combo system and the different planes you can attack in really aren’t that relevant. At times, it feels like just a different paint job on the same game…except that the plot and characters are better in Covenant.

I’m not saying you should skip this one, but you should either go into it knowing it’s not as good or…play it before you ever touch Covenant. Like I said, I really enjoyed this one, but purely only because I’d yet to play Covenant.

Conclusion

Sadly, the only thing I’ve seen Yuri in since was Chaos Wars, a pathetic attempt to cash in on a crossover anime SRPG totally misguided by the ever drunken development hand of Idea Factory. Seriously, if you see Idea Factory on ANY product, it is more than likely a big pile of shit. Don’t believe me? Here are some examples for your perusal:

Generations of Chaos (PSP) - An SRPG/RTS/sim hybrid that gives you the impression of greatness due to how many game types it has, but ends up being a buggy, slow, awful bag of shit.

Spectral Souls (PSP) - An awful Disgaea wannabe that is anything but. Once again, there are major slowdown issues and is all around very buggy.

Record of Agarest War (360/PS3) - A game that entices you by having Aksys Games (of Blazblue fame) and the creators of Thousand Arms on the cover. Oh also, alleged “naughtiness.” Yeah okay, I played the game for about 10 hours and all I got was ANOTHER SLOW AND BUGGY SRPG WITH A SHIT STORY. GODDAMMIT.

You’ll notice, too, that on all three of these boxes, they deliberately hide the fact that Idea Factory is the developer. What a bunch of horse shit. Sadly, it seems Aruze/Nautilus may not be making further Shadow Hearts entries if this is the case, but it’s still worth keeping an eye out. The Shadow Hearts series is an incredible one and well worth checking out at your earliest convenience.

Original Article

General Overview

1993 was a great year for RPGs. This was one of the tougher ones. If you know anything about RPGs from the late 80s/early 90s era, you know that I’m not saying this is tough in comparison to today’s gaming; I’m saying it’s tough in comparison to THAT era’s gaming. If you like hard RPGs and have plenty of time to invest, 7th Saga might be right up your alley.

Available For: SNES
Developer(s): Produce
Publisher(s): Enix
Release Date: 1993
Rating: NR
Archetype(s): Hardcore, RPG

Full Article

On my site, I’ve noticed that a lot…and I mean A LOT of hits on this site are asking for RPGs from the year 1993. Now granted, I’ve already talked about the ones I feel earn the accolade of being the top 5, but what about the rest? Well thankfully, there are some really awesome games that, while not quite making the top 5 list, are still awesome enough to check out.

7th Saga is a fun little title by Enix that is challenging, long, interesting, and at times highly frustrating. Keep in mind that this was back in 1993 when RPGs were meant to be this way. Nowadays, a lot of RPGs cater to more casual audiences. Now no, not all of them, but most RPGs today go out of their way to give you second chances, do level scaling, and whatever else to ensure you’re getting a fairly stable challenge while also having a lot of fun.

There’s nothing wrong with this, but again, it didn’t always used to be like that. 7th Saga is the perfect example of a game that really doesn’t give a shit about level scaling, fairness, or anything of the sort. The basic premise of the game is a handful of heroes from around the world are summoned to King Lemele to obtain the runes. Apparently the runes hold great power that can grant the user any wish they desire.

I don’t quite understand why the king summoned them, especially since it’s fairly obvious each hero has their own intention as to what they will do with the runes, rather than handing them over to the king. In any case, you get to select one of these heroes, get your brief introduction to the king, and off you go! Fairly standard stuff, but even the process of selecting a hero is a major decision.

See, you can select from a knight, elf, bishop, demon, alien, robot, or dwarf (pretty sure I didn’t miss anyone). Each character has their own strengths and weaknesses, developmental path, armor and weapons available to them (or not available at all in some cases), likes and dislikes regarding other heroes (which is more important than you might imagine), and so on.

This means that depending on who you choose, you will have to invest more or less time grinding, possibly have to avoid certain types of fights, have to gain certain allies as quickly as possible, will get into fights with certain other heroes (this happens A LOT), will have to spend more or less money constantly updating your equipment, and on, and on.

This game is HEAVILY grind intensive. There’s no such thing as overleveling in this game because enemies can be serious douchebags. First of all, MP is almost always short in supply for each hero type and each hero type WILL need to make effective use of their abilities to proceed. Second, enemies can (and will) dodge spells and attacks alike.

Of course, this means sometimes you can dodge stuff, but it seems like the game often gives too much evasion chance or whatever to the enemies to the point that all your spells fucking miss and you die through no fault of your own. This is where emulation comes in handy, but keep in mind I initially played this right when it came out in 1993…yeahhhhhh…kinda fucking tough back then.

Another problem is you’re often not told where to go or what to do next, so having an FAQ handy is a must. There is some good news, of course, and I more than likely would not highlight this game if I didn’t like it: as is true with most Enix titles, if you die, you lose half your cash and get sent back to the last save point, which is usually a town.

Here’s the bad news: you may lose a rune. And if you lose a rune, you absolutely cannot progress until you get it back. Worse news: you usually have to fight another hero to get it back. Worst news: the Japanese version was hard enough, but apparently the Americanized version included “additional balancing” during the localization (according to Wikipedia), which makes enemies incredibly difficult, leveling up do far less than it should, and level scaling for other heroes fucking ridiculous as a result.

As far as interesting features, well, there’s this crystal ball thingy in the upper left that lets you know where the allegedly “random” encounters are. Problem: enemies don’t stay put…even if you do. So if you’re simply trying to get your bearings, it’s better to pause so they don’t move, otherwise you’ll land in an encounter even if you’re standing still.

It’s also virtually impossible to completely avoid enemies, so don’t bother trying. One great feature regarding this is it will let you know where runes are as well as simple treasures. Too bad it doesn’t let you know which treasure boxes are MIMICS…but oh well. Runes also let you do various things like teleporting, casting magic, and so on, so that’s kind of cool, too.

This is right on the box. lol wut.

While the review hasn’t been overly positive, know that I really do love this game. I think it’s mostly because of how fun, but also frustrating it can be. See yes, it’s normally better that a game isn’t frustrating, but you have to understand, that can be part of what makes a game fun. Beating down a boss that’s been giving you so much trouble for so long is exhilarating.

Overall, the game is very basic, but does offer a number of interesting features such as cool mode 7 effects, interesting main characters, forging an alliance or battling other main characters, being fairly open world, and overall being a very traditional RPG. While it may not be for everyone, it’s a very fun title that I recommend at least checking out.

Buy it here!

Original Article

I still remember when I decided I wanted to support indy wrestling and sent a message to my buddy and told me about this new place he had started working. I remember how small and “work-in-progress” this company was. But they concentrated on their strengths: great characters and storylines that kept you coming back. Tonight they had Funaki. Like, THE Funaki. Smackdown Announcer #1. Indeed. That Funaki.

They opened it up with Funaki coming out to speak to the fans. He was interrupted by the Asian Nation who invited him to become a junior member. Good stuff. And of course it went into fisticuffs. I think everybody was involved except for Kate.

First match: Barrett Brown vs. Kristopher Haiden

I of course would like to congratulate Barrett on his recent graduation from high school. This kid is already one of Texas’ best and he JUST NOW graduated high school. Barrett has improved a lot over the past year. He’s adding more and more different kinds of offense into his matches. If you have never seen this guy wrestle before, go look him up on Youtube. Haiden does a great job being the bully. When it comes to being the bully, I think he’s the best in MPX and one of the best probably in Texas. He gave Barrett a clothesline from Hell and got the pin.

Winner: Haiden

Haiden asked to be announced as “The Cruiserweight Slayer.” I like Cruiserweight Crusher better. It’s alliteration. We had angry Headbanger come out because he didn’t have a match. He wanted an opponent. He was given Frankie Fisher AND Jason Silver. I liked angry Headbanger. These past few months, he has gotten to show off his range.

Second match: Tad Wylde vs. Regrub & Matt Andrews w/The Following

Masked Guy (I still haven’t figured out what his stage name is.) is looking a little skinnier. The classiest thing all night was when Tad Wylde thanked the military. What I thought could have added a nice dimension was asking all the military people to stand, but no biggie. They can do that in November. What Choice lacks in size, he makes up for in personality and commitment. He is a good storyteller and somebody you want to get over your story. Tad Wylde is a pretty good tag team. They work well and did some cool double-team moves. Ben played the face in peril very well. One of the biggest moves of the night was Tadlock doing a plancha. For those unfamiliar with Tadlock, that’s like Rhino doing a plancha. Good, fun match with Tad Wylde getting the victory.

Winner: Tad Wylde

I like how they are building up Tad Wylde.

Third match: Scott Murdoch vs. Danny Saint

I like both these guys and they were quite entertaining in this match. I’m going to love a Saint-Murdoch feud. The fans win. The chests of Saint and Murdoch do not. These guys were brutal (in a good way). I wrote down I was really happy to not be either. I also wrote down one word at one point, “Wow.” These guys really laid it on the line. I watched a DGUSA DVD yesterday that had some of the best in-ring work I’d ever seen. This was not that type of match yet still kept just as engaged in it. It was still just as intense and emotional and brutal.

Winner: Double Countout

Can we already name this MPX Feud of the Year? Kyle Davis interviewed Kanoa. “I’m going to beat people. Who’s next in line?” Not a lot of depth to it, but we’ll see where he goes from here.

Fourth match: Bling & Sting vs. Asian Nation

It was nice to see tag team wrestling that meant something. $Payday$ had a great plancha. He’s becoming more smooth and more fluid. There was good comedy. WASP & “Just” Johnson both do comedy really well. I wonder if Nigel might be a little wasted on this tag team. I think James is really good on the mic and doesn’t need any help. I do think Nigel works as an “outside-the-ring” presence. But then again, I’m not sure where you use Nigel if not with the Asian Nation. Anything that keeps Nigel in front of the crowd works for me. I wrote down that it was a fun match with lots of intricate stories. Kenny Steele walked out and stole $Payday$’s belt. $Payday$ went to tag in WASP while he was still recovering after being in the ring for a while. $Payday$ went after him. The two-on-one advantage proved to be too much for WASP.

Winner: Asian Nation

Well, with Tad Wylde, The Following, Asian Nation, Bling & Sting, a possible Cash & Carry return, Dunnings & Red, I believe, MPX, you have a tag team division.

Fifth match: Joshua City vs. Jerome Daniels

This was Joshua’s debut match so he gets “First Match Immunity.” However, I don’t know if it’s Jerome, but this was actually a pretty good match. Joshua has a lot of personality and kind of understands that it’s due-paying time. As I have learned, it’s not easy cutting your first promo. It takes something to listen to the crowd and be reacted to. I’ve seen a few debuts in MPX. Some I wish I could unsee. This is probably the best debut I’ve seen at MPX.

Winner: Jerome

Jerome is supposed to be built-up to be fighting the big match against Frankie and took a little longer than he should have to beat Joshua City, making his MPX debut. James Hawke came out after the match saying that the people were supposed to love him were booing him now. He listened to the crowd and followed them where they took him. This is the John Cena heel turn we’ve all been waiting for.

Sixth match: Nobe Bryant vs. Kanoa

I’ve had the chance to see Nobe since back in the day. The man is a great athlete and has an amazing look. Kanoa has a good arrogance to him. Both guys are really good athletes and  had some good agility for their size. Nobe tried to keep the crowd engaged (which sometimes really needs to happen with this crowd). And with respect to Murdoch and Saint, Nobe won for chop of the night. I wrote down that it was a good, decent match. Kanoa won unexpectedly.

Winner: Kanoa

Looks like they are giving Kanoa a nice push. I’m intrigued to see what he has for us.

Seventh match: Frankie Fisher (c) vs. Gregory James vs. Jason Silver

Well, who wouldn’t want to see James-Silver? I wrote down that I liked the beginning. Frankie is a good smarmy heel. There were some good dynamics. You had James and Silver who are friends but Frankie used that to his advantage. The action was very fast-paced. I was surprisingly able to keep up with most of it. Greg is becoming quite the storyteller. Storyteller + Agility = ∞ limits. Frankie submitted Jason Silver while Greg was outside the ring.

Winner: Fisher

This is definitely the strongest I have seen Frankie looked. He looked like a credible champion.

Main Event: Carrion Arcane w/The Following vs. Sho Funaki

I’m going to try to see how many times I can fit the word “Indeed” into this match. Seriously, it was fun. We had Funaki live before our crowd. Arcane got in a lot of offense. Funaki did what he did best and one of the reasons he was kept around in the WWE for so long. He sold. The match was very well laid out. After a good night of wrestling, we got to see Funaki get a pin out of nowhere.

Winner: Funaki

All in all… The night was pretty decent. The crowd was packed and lively. Some people were worried about it being BYOB for the first time. As Arcane said, “We have a Murdoch.” They left us with some nice questions. That is what a wrestling company needs to be, especially with a lot of people who normally wouldn’t be there. Special props need to go out to Daniel and Anthony the refs. These guys were active and engaged in hot weather doing a very athletic activity for several matches. Joshua had a nice debut. Murdoch and Saint tore down the house. Frankie looked like a real legitimate champion. And I do believe we have the development of a tag team division.

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Original Article

ThinkSoJoE, JT, and G all return for the 24th episode of BoredWrestlingFan Radio, and the bad shows this week allowed us to skip over them and jump straight into another busy news week. Discussed this week are Ric Flair and Alex Shelley’s TNA departures, the lawsuit TNA has pending against WWE, “Pretty Boy” Doug Somers’ lawsuit against WWE, WWE’s potential lawsuit against a Connecticut newspaper, and so much more. Tune in via the link below, and don’t forget to comment here on BoredWrestlingFan.com or give us a rating on iTunes!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 24 (MP3, 1:05:54)

Original Article

Ahh, Friday is here… and thereby another neglected edition of Smackdown comes with it. Over the last number of months since RAW became SUPER, Smackdown has been… well… basically Superstars. Will that change tonight? Only one way to find out. Let’s hop to it, shall we?

I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

- WWE essentially validates my points by starting off with Cena, Laurinaitus, and Big Show clips from Over the Limit and RAW last Monday. This isn’t even Thunder, god dammit. Smackdown is becoming an infomercial for RAW… I go check the NHL results, and am mildly happy New Jersey won, eliminating the Rangers from the playoffs. Only mildly because it means I have a chance in my playoff pool to still win, but saddened I will not get hockey on Sunday (unless the NHL pulls the trigger early). See WWE, that’s what happens when you replay shit, minds wander….

Sometimes when reviewing wrestling, I wish this happened to me…

- Eve Torres is out (no suspension for this Torres). She is rocking her whorish librarian look once again. Johnny is off tripping, or something, and will not be here tonight… so Eve is the boss. Sheamus is to issue a public apology for bumping into John last Monday (even though John is not here, nor will it take place on RAW even though Big Show had to do this). She is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio who panders to her as beautiful and smart, wanting to be the Champ’s next opponent at whatever the fuck the next PPV is. Naturally, Orton must interject himself wanting that same position, but he panders to the crowd. Out next? Kane. He thinks it should be him, since he has nothing better to do and also tonight is Smackdown episode 666. Eve makes a Triple Threat Match.

I always mark out for Ninja like shit.

- * Non-Title Match: Christian {C} vs. Hunico. I would think the outcome is pretty obvious here, regardless of the fact Comacho is at ringside. 3 minutes or so, Killswitch… Christian wins. Out comes Cody Rhodes to cut a promo about how his efforts holding the title brought credibility back to the title listing names like Macho Man, Steamboat, etc. And that nobody cares about Christian, rather more about his own run. We’ll get a rematch, and I can’t say I mind that at all. I don’t think I buy into Rhodes’ argument (is the IC title really credible again?), but appreciate the attention towards it.

Charles Barkley @G: “Did you hear what I said on Tuesday during the Heat game, G? Didja hear that honkey? See, I’m a heel commentator.”

G @Charles Barkley: “Nah, I was watching the Coyotes/Kings game. NHL > NBA. Deal with it, Chuck.”

- * The Usos vs. Titus O’Neal and Darren Young. Again? Of course, who else are these guys going to wrestle? The division is getting slightly bigger, but this tandem has been pretty slick. The match itself is fairly quick paced, but not too heavy on high spots, so when we get them, they mean something. Big thumbs up from me for that. Titus and Young pull out a win and do a little jig post match.

- Sin Cara returns next week, or so they say. Shades of Brodeus Clay.

Shark swimming with dolphins? Do scuba dudes count? They do? Sweet.

- * Ryback vs. Brian Edwards/Kevin Bendl. The two are in the ring cutting the typical jobbers for Ryback. This match will be a non-tag handicap match. Ryback’s music cuts them off. Ryback is sporting a very obvious black eye, as well. House show injury, I’m sure. This two on one shit doesn’t fly with Ryback, so he stacks both men on top of each other and slams them both. Your winner, the fans. No one back stage was watching (thank god they dropped that part of the gimmick).

Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd from this week’s Superstars. This move is epic!

- * Non-Title Match: Santino {C} vs. Ricardo Rodriguez. You know what? I AM looking forward to this match. We’ve rarely seen Rodriguez in action, and I can’t recall the last match he’s officially been in. This stems from Santino’s interruption on RAW, when he taught Ricardo how to roll his “R’s.” I learned that skill in elementary school choir. If I remember, I’ll do it on BWF Radio 24 this Sunday. It’s easy. Pure comedy gold. Ricardo is wearing a suit, not ring gear. He jumps clear over Santino, then unnecessarily runs the ropes as Santino just watches. AIRPLANE SPIN!!! Santino rolls outside, under the ring, and pops out the other side with his Cobra…. SNEAK ATTACK! Santino lands his gloved-finish, match over. Short + funny = AWESOME!

No comment. Don’t bother with the trashcan either, RVD and Sabu had an Extreme Reunion of their own. Yes, they smokes the tin.

- Sheamus wants to be serious for a minute, fella. Lance Storm immediately files for gimmick infringement. He begins to apologize to Johnny Ace for running into him, and calls it “accidently on purpose.” That being impossible, actually. Then he starts to actually apologize as the crowd boos. He then says he apologizes for Ace for being an “arse” and proceeds to run down Otunga, Big Show, and all the other cronies. He says if he had his way, he’d face Orton. Enter Vickie Guerrero. She wants a legit apology, excuse me, etc. That doesn’t happen, so…

Yeah, it might not have anything to do with this review… but it’s pretty epic regardless.

- * Non-Title Match: Sheamus {C} vs. Jack Swagger. How many of you remember Swagger is a former champion? Probably most of you, because you’re smarks and internet savvy. The normal folk, not so much. The San Jose Shark, Swagger makes his way down and it’s go time. In the back of my mind, I’m thinking this could be a good match. But it’s WAY back there, and I’m way too lazy to get up and walk down the miles of boxes and filing cabinets, well past the Ark of the Covenant, to find that information for you. Sheamus looks to pick up an early win, but ol’ Swags gets out of it as we head to commercial. Perhaps I am mistaken? About the length of the match (not the outcome, come on people!)

Any move that takes a long time to set up is subject to drop kicks.

- We return to a battle of sorts. The two beat the living shit out of each other, to an extent of a potential double count of 10. Sheamus looks worn, and Swagger won’t give up? NICE! This match isn’t over yet, and I recommend a look if you have some time. About time. Sheamus still launches a Brogue Kick for a pin, but Swagger looks great in the finish. :)

I was hoping Heath Slater would be on the show tonight, so I could use this. I know, I can’t believe I said I hope he’d be on the show, either.

- * Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu. Tatsu wants revenge for last week. Will he get it? Nahh… not likely. Sandow cuts his usual multi-syllabic vernacular upon us, the unwashed masses, as his visceral banter diminishes the character and demeanor of said Yoshi Tatsu. Our FIRST official match starts and Tatsu immediately pins Baby into a corner, but no one puts Baby in a corner. Sandow tells the referee to do his job… and so he does. Then Sandow crushes Tatsu immediately, getting the pin and the win. Out of nowhere, Sandow does a cartwheel post match. WTF? I laughed my ass right off, went to the E.R., got it sewn back on, and laughed that fucker right off again!

See? It’s easy. Don’t be a retard and just draw an epic eye. LOL.

- The Big Show is angry now, but not that angry enough to not wear a suit, take his jacket off and sit down in a chair in the middle of the ring. He is justifying his actions. He loves what he does, and when he lost his job, he didn’t know what to do. He had no fiscal means to support his family, and had what he describes can be classified as a panic attack. Even the fans turned their backs on him, as well as all WWE staff. So he said fuck this noise, all his hard work was ignored so he sold out. Of course the crowd tells us that, because this is an epic promo. Go listen to it now. And Big Show gets the Line of the Night:

“When you’re drowning, do you really care where the life line comes from?”

- This segment has convinced me I came into this show too negative. Probably because RAW has been pretty bad lately. Not this episode. We’re not finished just yet, though. Regardless, this is why Show is one of the best promo men these days, especially when he is not blubbering for 15 minutes (and even THAT he did better than you’d expect). Show explains how everything was premeditated at the PPV last Sunday… it was a ruse for Cena. Great stuff, the crowd chants Cena like he’ll show up. Show puts over the No Way Out PPV match and goes full heel, a la corporation. Sure we’ve seen it before, but Show can act now.

After a brief moment of awkwardness, Orton realized THIS Slater was neither the Saved By The Bell Slater, nor the suicidal one who was not Jack Nicholson.. God forbid Orton would blow things up and make us care.

- Post Show segment, Kane enters to start his match… but Daniel Bryan attacks Kane with a steel chair as he enters the ring! WTF? Even Booker T’s non-reaction can ruin this. Why did this happen? Referees force the Dragon from the ring as we cut to Men in Black to the Future 3 ads. Don’t care about the movie, but wondering why the following just happened.

This picture is just too awesome for a smart-ass caption.

- Fuck, I have to wait until Friday until the NHL finals commence. At least I have the evening off. I smile, and it’s main event time?

- * Alberto Del Rio vs. Kane vs. Randy Orton. The three trade a lot of spots, in what ends up slow moving. I blame Kane and Orton for this. The former is getting on in age, and the latter has a slow methodical gimmick which stinks of boring… but you already knew that.

YES! I am sure this matchup sent the 10%’ers home slap happy.

- Nothing really happens before our first commercial break. During the break, Kane kicks Orton a couple times. Wow. Del Rio steps in and works Kane’s shoulder, then kicks Orton in another corner. YAWN. Lather, rinse, repeat. I can’t blame these guys for working a safe throw-away match, but at this point they shouldn’t be offended if don’t watch that same match. FFW time. Finhisher attempts are traded. Daniel Bryan reappears, distracting the Big Red Monster who chases him… but no count out. Bryan continues to taunt Kane with a chair in hand. This allows Orton to set up an RKO, but Del Rio steals the pin. Your number one contender? Alberto Del Rio, thank god.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

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This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

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Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

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Shameless Plugs!

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The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

Original Article

Oh I actually find myself loving Impact Wrestling’s opener with Hogan trying to decide who should take out err on Roode for the title before he amasses the longest reigning champion title which is currently being held by AJ Styles. Outside of that the interaction between Ray, Angle Styles and Hogan with Hardy sitting on his hands (not much on mic skills) debating back and forth about who should get the shot was a breathe of fresh air. But

Then Gail Kim with the love struck Madison came out to talk about being a dominate champion only to show a shot of Angelina Love count on her hands all the times she won the title. She goes on about her one blimish being the loss to a man/woman? tag team of EY and ODB and wanting to rectify that.

I won’t go into detail lets just say that Spike must of laxed there no male on female violence stance because EY gets some body slams and headlocks on Gail and Madison before the heels win when Madison holds the legs of ODB so Gail could pin her. But again I’m confused because its Open Fight Night and when you call out someone their title has to be defended but Tenay still calls EY and ODB champions? Whats up with that?

So after RVD lost in his bid against Roode for the title, he had a smokers moment and said to himself “Hey, how was I not able to compete since Genesis?, Oh yeah some dude named Gunner was responsible.” We have him call out the Gunned one and commence to beat on each other for 5 minutes before RVD gets the win with an insane Five Star Frog Splash.

Then we step into the nepotism zone as Devon comes out and calls out Garett for a shot at the Television title. We get a mostly Devon controlled match. And in one of the most stupidly comical spot of the night Garett pulls off a swinging neckbreaker pauses and waits for the applause. Rob T and Rob E. come out an beat on them until the faces get the upper hand and embrace at the end. YEAH! we have the continuing Robbie E saga and nepotism wrapped into the same match someone please shoot those two. (Not really because thats conspiracy to commit murder.)

Speaking of murder Joseph Parks attempt at getting Bully Ray to admitting to doing….(Abyss is alive and no longer missing..oh) in his brother Chris you know Abyss. After the Abyss reveal no matter how cool, it kind of took the air out of the story so what will be the payoff. Because Abyss is back with a warning to his brother for playing to close to the fire. Which I’m guessing is Bully Ray. So Park wants a mock trial so the fans can have their say and Ray can be judged by a jury of his peers, the fans. Wouldn’t his peers be the locker room?

Ray beats on Parks and we solve absolutely nothing.

Then comes one of the best segments when Joey Ryan who looks like a 70’s porn star takes on his 90’s equilvalent in Aries. Good and short. The best part is when Ryan flicks his mustache sweat in Aries eyes. Aries wins with a brain buster.

World Heavyweight title time as Roode takes on AJ. After Hogan eliminated the other three throughout the night.

Roode wins. Beats AJ’s record for being the longest reigning champion in TNA history. He celebrates and Hogan the chief conspirator calls in his friend The Insane Icon Sting shouting “Its Showtime” as Sting beats on Roode and then announces the new time slot but forgets to mention it will be live which thankfully Tenay fixes and we fade out

Sting vs Roode in a Lumber jack match at the top of the live show should give a fun feel to it.

PNT NR out.

Original Article

In my Under the Scope series, I take a look at a specific item, commonly used character, or whatever and expound upon it in ways we as gamers may not have previously thought about. Sometimes it’s just something that’s been bothering me and other times it might be something of an epiphany that I want to share. Yet even other times I just have no idea what to write about and something comes to me, so shoosh.

What defines a character? Well, in an RPG, usually you say actions, dialogue, and situations define a character, but then in the case of games like Chrono Trigger or the original Final Fantasy, what then? Well sometimes one feature we often remember about the character is the clothes. Maybe it was something odd, just a little off, interesting, or completely bizarre that helped define the character.

Or perhaps their sense of style was fairly muted in such a way that we almost don’t remember what the hell they were wearing. What I mean is take just about any character from Final Fantasy 12. Can you even tell me what they were wearing? I mean, it looks like they each grabbed something fairly random from a renne fest table and strolled out into the countryside.

You go outside dressed like that? Really?

It’s all fairly generic and forgettable. Now recall Cloud Strife, Mayor Mike Haggar, Chie Satonaka, Chun Li, Ryu (from any Breath of Fire), and Crono. All very different characters and from equally different games, but there’s a good chance you have a general idea of what they were wearing, at least if you’ve played the titles. So one might say that what the character wears is highly important as to what you remember about the game.

But then again, another newer feature has come up more recently to mix things up a bit: the idea that anytime you change any piece of armor or weapon on your character that it totally changes the overall visceral look of the character. So for example, this is seen in games like Torchlight, Dragon Quest 9, Mass Effect, Xenoblade Chronicles, Rogue Galaxy, Fable, and much more.

The question is does it hurt the game or draw away from character recognition? See, one thing I noticed was in the case of Dragon Quest 9, often I couldn’t tell who was doing what in battle. What would happen is often I would craft or buy some new type of equipment, but only enough so that one or two people could equip them, thus having to do a “hand me down” measure with former equipment for the other allies, which would constantly confuse me as I couldn’t keep track with who was wearing what.

And now I’ll put the bunny ears on him to complete the ensemble.

Worse still are games that allow for full helmets to the point that everyone looks exactly the same and you can’t even really see your characters emote anymore during cutscenes. Now strangely, Xenoblade seems to get it right, but I still can’t help but feel like even it’s a little much. For example, in one area, the best armor has you looking like evil villains…then in the next area, the best armor has you looking like you have tribal clothing on.

So one way to view it is why the rapid change, while the other is how the fuck is tribal clothing somehow more resilient than spiky armor? And yet, there’s a part of me that’s somewhat annoyed when there isn’t at least some level of customization. Like, okay…older games like Final Fantasy 6. You go through all kinds of armor and weapon updates over the course of the game, but all you really have to show for it (besides the numbers) is often having a slightly differently colored attack animation.

At the end of the day it really does feel like a lose-lose situation. You can allow for all kinds of wacky customization, but more than likely you’ll only be equipping the best weapons and armor, which means only equipping certain things and having your characters look exactly the same as everyone else at that point in the game, meaning the customization is TECHNICALLY there, but it’s fairly obvious the path you’re given.

“Hey guys, look how I re-dressed my priest!”

Strangely, Fable 2 is the only game I know of that’s gotten this right lately. See, in Fable 2, there are no actual armor effects. Even if there were, there’s auto-recover and no true death in the game. As a result, you can customize your character as you see fit, though there are obvious reasons you may customize them one way or the other. They see this through completely by allowing you to dye your clothes as well.

In fact, Fable 3 takes this full tilt by encouraging you to get all available dyes, then allowing different vibrance of dyes and multi-layering. Actually, I remember spending several minutes at a time customizing my character’s full layout so that I could look a certain way…just because I bloody well could…and I never felt like my character’s identity was ever compromised.

So I guess it CAN be done, but often isn’t. It’s a very thin line to tread for a developer. Personally, I like the idea of customization, but only if it really is true customization that doesn’t subtract from the characters’ individual identities. Clothes make the man, but apparently, sometimes the man gets lost in the process.

Original Article

General Overview

So in one episode, you have to repair a car…and to do so, you need a fanbelt. You have to get a fat hooker to be at least moderately attractive (by having her drink mouthwash), and then while she’s getting fucked by some bloke in a back alley, you take her garter belt and supplement it as a fanbelt. I’m not even going to bother explaining how to get the car battery working again, but suffice to say, if you’re easily offended, then fuck off because this game’s clearly not for you.

Available For: iOS, Mac, PC (reviewed)
Developer(s): Straandlooper, Telltale Games
Publisher(s): Telltale Games
Release Date: 2011
Rating: NR
Archetype(s): Adventure

Full Article

The recent batch of bite-sized adventure games usually causes me to become beyond depressed. It all started, at least with me, with the new Sam & Max series. It’s not that they aren’t funny; it’s just that there isn’t enough content within each episode, it’s not quite on par with the quality you would expect out of a standard adventure game, and often the quality is very low.

Such is the case with nearly every Telltale title and while I applaud them at at least helping bring back adventure gaming to the spotlight, I can’t help but feel we’re still not getting what we really want and that it’s pandering more to the new school, casual gamers that get frustrated and whine if they can’t figure out a puzzle that requires more than 2 minutes to think about it.

And while the Hector series won’t exactly be breaking any new ground in the obscure or tricky puzzles department, at least it has the gall to try to be something new, different, and goddamned funny all in one. Now, I don’t want to give too much away (and yes I realize I solved a puzzle for you in the general overview section, shut up), but just know it’s fun, crude, and classic.

In fact, it would actually be better to simply compare this to other Telltale titles as well as classic titles, so let’s do that. Hector is effectively what Police Quest would be, were it done by the crew that did Leisure Suit Larry only made it slightly more casual for this generation. See, yes, you can’t die, however, the puzzles are ludicrous, easily solvable without hints, but also clever (and often crude) in many cases.

You’ll frequent places like sex shops, back alleys, sex dungeons, butcher shops, and so on to accomplish your quest, all the while spouting hilarious one-liners and showing just how much of a fat asshole bad cop you are. All the characters and locations are unique and the dialogue and voice acting are spot on. Sometimes you’ll come across some real head scratchers for puzzles, but only rarely will you ever be trapped in one or two rooms, instead allowing you to explore several locales so as to get some breathing room and be able to tackle other available puzzles before returning with what you think the solution might be.

This is something that’s been conspicuously missing from many Telltale titles. See, most of the time in Telltale titles, possibly due to budget and scheduling constraints, you don’t get many areas to explore and have very limited interactions with your environment and available characters. Games like the Sam & Max and Strongbad (and to a lesser degree, even Back to the Future) series favor having many locations that you get to return to and slowly build on those, so as a series played back to back it’s not half bad, but playing them one episode at a time, you often feel cheated.

But I never really got that feeling with Hector. Oh sure, they’re still what I would consider to be “bite-size,” but at the same time it has you begging for more with each episode in passing, they feel slightly longer than most of Telltale’s other episodic content, and it’s wrapped up nice and neat for the finale. I never felt like it was too short, too long, overstayed its welcome, or could have been longer.

Don’t get me wrong…I think bite-size gaming is the wrong way to go, but somehow it seemed to work with Hector…perhaps because they were BIG bites, and yeah, pun intended, whatever. Another good way to put this is comparing the original Sam & Max to the new series of Sam & Max, which I’ve totally done, but has been more or less erased from the Internet thanks to the destruction of Morphine Nation.

See, the original Sam & Max was very similar to that of Maniac Mansion 2 - Day of the Tentacle in that it had an overall wacky style and premise, fun characters, bizarre environments and puzzles, and overall was very fun and cartoony. It was about as long as you’d expect an adventure game to be back in the 80s and 90s and is well worth looking into. Now you have…well, episodes that can be beaten in about an hour at best.

I mean, the voice acting is good, it definitely catches a lot of the spirit of the original Sam & Max, but it feels very…hollow. It’s almost like the new Sam & Max is attempting to pay homage to the original Sam & Max, but completely unable to while also trying to keep up with current trends. I felt a similar feeling when watching the new Beavis and Butthead episodes, except I think Mike Judge actually did a damn good job keeping in tune with the original while tackling new subjects…almost as if the series went on a long ass hiatus and nothing else (take note, Seth MacFarlane).

I realize I haven’t talked much about the game itself and more about events, elements, and games surrounding and/or linked to Hector, but understand this: provided you’re not easily offended and you’re looking for a classic adventure gaming experience, really there isn’t much I’d have to say other than GODDAMMIT WHY HAVEN’T YOU PICKED IT UP YET?!

Buy it here!

Original Article

[caption id=”” align=”alignright” width=”218” caption=”R.I.P. Randy “Macho Man” Poffo. Nov. 15, 1952 - May 20, 2011”][/caption]
Terrible RAW, decent IMPACT and SmackDown, and an absolutely insane news week mark BWF Radio 23. ThinkSoJoE, G, and JT give their thoughts on RAW going to three hours, IMPACT going live, Gabe Sapolski bashing ROH’s iPPV stream, X-Pac’s thoughts on TNA, Chyna passing out three times this weekend, Rosa Mendez and Beulah McGillicutty both being involved in car accidents this week, Over The Limit predictions, and much, much more!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 23 (MP3, 1:58:37)

Original Article